Things are getting more difficult in the day to day caregiving I provide for my wife. Trending downward with very few moments of clarity. Thinking about respite care before any long term assisted living.
She's not a candidate for assisted living. She needs memory care which is so much better all the way around for a patient with dementia issues.
Please don't burn yourself out any further. I'm convinced that caring for my mother led to my dad's early death. Caring for your loved one "in sickness and in health" doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your own health, because that doesn't benefit either of you.
You ARE caring for her by placing her where she can receive the best care possible, so please don't put it off. The key is the correct placement, and in her case, I'd say memory care is the correct one.
When YOU can no longer care for your wife with dementia at home, for whatever reason(s), THEN it is time for her to be placed in Memory Care Assisted Living or Skilled Nursing. It's never an easy decision to make, but when things get TOO difficult to keep her at home, then you KNOW it's time for her to move into Memory Care. It's just that simple. You'll not be 'abandoning' her, just having her cared for in an appropriate environment that's geared FOR her specifically, and staffed by MANY people who are there specifically to look after her needs, 24/7. You can go see her daily, if you so desire. We should all be so lucky to be able to afford such an environment, should we require it in our old age!
Your wife is passed an Assisted Living, she will need Memory Care if u have the money. Longterm care with Medicaid if you don't have money.
If you are considering placing your wife and have substantial assets, I suggest you see an Elder Lawyer to have your marital assets split, Medicaid allows this. Your wife's split will be spent down for her care and when gone you can apply for Medicaid. You get enough or all of ur monthly income to cover your living expenses.
I based the decision on ONE thing. SAFETY If it was no longer safe for ME to care for my Husband at home I would have had not option but to place him. If it was no longer safe for HIM for me to care for him at home then I would have had to place him. Safety is not just physical safety but all encompassing, this includes both Mental/emotional safety. Are you exhausted? Are you burnt out? Is the house safe?
There is an in between that might work. Can you get caregivers to come in and help out? Is there an Adult Day program that she can participate in that will give you a bit of time several days a week. Would she qualify for Hospice, with Hospice you would have a Nurse that would come every week, a CNA that would come several times a week to help out. Supplies and equipment would be provided. And Medicare pays for about 1 week of Respite each year for Hospice patients.
Please don't burn yourself out any further. I'm convinced that caring for my mother led to my dad's early death. Caring for your loved one "in sickness and in health" doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your own health, because that doesn't benefit either of you.
You ARE caring for her by placing her where she can receive the best care possible, so please don't put it off. The key is the correct placement, and in her case, I'd say memory care is the correct one.
Good luck.
If you are considering placing your wife and have substantial assets, I suggest you see an Elder Lawyer to have your marital assets split, Medicaid allows this. Your wife's split will be spent down for her care and when gone you can apply for Medicaid. You get enough or all of ur monthly income to cover your living expenses.
SAFETY
If it was no longer safe for ME to care for my Husband at home I would have had not option but to place him.
If it was no longer safe for HIM for me to care for him at home then I would have had to place him.
Safety is not just physical safety but all encompassing, this includes both Mental/emotional safety.
Are you exhausted?
Are you burnt out?
Is the house safe?
There is an in between that might work.
Can you get caregivers to come in and help out?
Is there an Adult Day program that she can participate in that will give you a bit of time several days a week.
Would she qualify for Hospice, with Hospice you would have a Nurse that would come every week, a CNA that would come several times a week to help out. Supplies and equipment would be provided. And Medicare pays for about 1 week of Respite each year for Hospice patients.