Everyday is like a roller coaster for me. I have been with my Mom (who has moderate dementia, possibly severe for 24/7 almost four weeks now since her husband of 34 years passed away) We have only been home for a week, but I've spent most of the time filled with anxiety. Some days I can barely eat, I know I'm losing weight, and the slightest thing sets me on edge. This is NOT like me at all. Of course, I'm brand new to caregiving in the same state much less the same house. I've been asking lots of questions on this forum, and I have plans to join an "in person" support group too. As soon as I can get a spare moment away from my mother...so far it's only when I sleep, shower, or potty. The caregivers are scheduled twice a week for four hours, but that hasn't really started yet, plus Mom is reluctant and in denial. Yesterday was actually a good day, but that's because both my daughter and I "hung" out with Mom almost all day....we went to the movies, went for a walk, got yogurt, etc. I realize that being with my Mom calms her down, but at what point do I get a little piece of my life back? At what point do I stop waking up each morning with anxiety of what the day is bringing? I have a doctors appointment on Tuesday because I think some anxiety Meds would help me through this transition.....I thought bringing her here would make her content, because that's all she used to talk about, but the disease has progressed to the point that it is not necessarily the case. Also, im pretty sure that I'm just being impatient....everyone keeps telling me I am strong, I am one of the strongest people they know, but I don't feel that way now. What inner dialogue can I start having with myself so that I'm not a complete wreck? I am a strong person, why is this so hard for me?