Follow
Share
Find Care & Housing
As an aspect of basic HR, the employer has no obligation to talk to you and could be sued for violation of employee privacy. As a person, who did Accounting and HR for construction comanies, I cannot tell you the number of times in a week a girlfriend, spouse or baby mama called to start drama for the employee. I would talk to none of them.

If he did what you said a PM, the owner of the company if it is small, the general contractor, the homeowner or the crew would have noticed it and reported it. I would have a hard time buying it.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to tacy022
Report
Ahmijoy Oct 26, 2018
JoAnn, yes, he did. Nothing on the paperwork changed and when the company ceased operations and had to be sold, everything was portioned out equally to all the kids. I always thought the family was “financially solvent but morally bankrupt. “.
(0)
Report
What kind of testing has your husband had? FTD is a degenerative disease and evidence of this for sure will show up on scans.

My husband worked for his family’s business from the age of 16 until he was 63. After a stroke in 2003, he began to mess up, a LOT and I understand he cost the company a lot of money and made many mistakes. Finally, when he became incontinent (both ways) he had an accident in the men’s room of the company and for some reason never told anyone or cleaned it up, just went back to his desk. His family was incensed and called a family meeting which I was asked to attend as well. It was awful. They were fairly understanding because they knew he had issues, but they cut him down to half days. When he was hospitalized for a near-fatal heart infection, they fired him. We’ve since cut off contact with them.

The moral of this story is to please not leave it until your husband has to be fired by his company. Save him hurt and embarrassment. My husband internalized his feelings about being fired by his own twin brother, but I know he was and is devastated.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Ahmijoy
Report
JoAnn29 Oct 26, 2018
Just curious, if a family business didn't DH have a share in it. Entitled to profits?
(1)
Report
It all depends. How well do you know the employer? What does he do for the company? Why do you think he will make the mistake? Is there any past reason the boss would just consider you a "troublemaker or unstable"?
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to tacy022
Report

To tell or not to tell.

Just know costly mistakes can bankrupt a company. Yes, I've seen it because I used to be in this kind of business. The employer is responsible for not one person, but all the people who work there, and whose livelihoods depend on the company's survival.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to polarbear
Report
AveMaria123 Oct 26, 2018
exactly which is why I am in this dilemma.....to tell or not to tell. It would be easier if the dr hadn't said he definitely has FTD, and then changed his mind. We obviously quit going to him. Yes, I don't want to be responsible for bankrupting any one!
(0)
Report
How do you know its FTD if he hasn't been diagnoised. I think first, you need a confirmed diagnosis before you talk to his employer. Once that is done, telling his boss is something you can discuss with his doctor.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report
AveMaria123 Oct 26, 2018
The chief dr told me it was definitely FTD three times, but then changed his mind. All that is in writing is "mild cognitive decline". That doesn't put me in a very good situation.
Since he flip-flopped on the diagnosis, we quit going any where for further evaluation. Can you blame us? but soon we will have to find someone else to go to. He has a new PCP so he can refer him somewhere new. Thanks for your feedback.
(0)
Report
It’s the employers responsibility to access the abilities of all of their employees, not just the older ones.
I had a speciality construction company and watched all kinds of people make expensive mistakes.
If you rat your husband out with a disease that hasn’t even been diagnosed by a professional specializing in diseases like FTD your husband might be without a job earlier and home with you longer.
My uncle was far down the Alizhiemers path but was very fluent in his area of expertise. It was unbelievable that he could become so articulate.
For heavens sake let your husband go to work for as long as possible.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Jakjak
Report
AveMaria123 Oct 26, 2018
The chief dr told me three times that he definitely had FTD, and then said he definitely didn't have FTD. (which I realize is hard to believe). The only thing in writing is "mild cognitive decline." Of course, since I live with him I see that he doesn't always make sense. He is working with a new builder and he just recently started a house on a property with the wrong side facing the driveway! Not sure what's gonna happen from here.
(0)
Report
See 1 more reply