My parents 92 and 89 are currently living in AL. Both have more needs than when they moved there 9 months ago. Dad has heart, COPD, prostate and digestive issues. Mom has Alzheimer’s with all of the issues including anger. Mom also has issues with bad legs with swelling and crusting. She refuses bathing and showering. They are currently in one room because my did likes the closeness of the dining room.

Mom was assessed and eligible for the memory care care but my father refused to separate them.

I spoke to the wellness coordinator at the AL and she feels both would be approved and benefit. Neither are showing eminent signs of passing away.

Has as anyone faced these circumstances? Prayers please.....

I would definitely sign up for Hospice if I could for my husband because they offer tremendous support and services. However, they won’t allow him to continue doing dialysis, so unfortunately, we cannot go on hospice until he’s ready to stop dialysis. At that point he’ll have 1-2 weeks to live, so we really won’t be able to take advantage of their interactive therapies.

Before deciding, make sure to ask if your patents’ medication would change and in what ways. The insurance company won’t pay for all the usual medications.
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Reply to JuliaRose

Thanks for your insight. We nearly lost my dad at his last hospitalization. He has been in 4 times since December. Twice in ICU. I spent last year with my out of town sister-in-law who was given 2 to 3 weeks. Under the care of hospice, 24/7 caregivers,my daughter and myself, she lived 6 months. I learned what a good hospice and the right people can do.

My parents are very non-complient. We are pleased with the AL facility. My parents make it difficult. I like the idea of the services for the family. Three of the six siblings are the most hands on with their care. One sib lives out of town, another has a son with severe medical and the sixth is a heart surgeon. The doctor supervises their medical care as needed. He is the one who worked hard to keep my dad alive so he could home to mom. We are exhausted mentally and physically.

I feel eel like it doesn’t hurt to try as long as no money is coming out of their accounts. God will provide.....
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Reply to didiblue52

You might discuss it with their doctor. Are they competent to state their position on the matter? I also just learned that the Hospice agency has a doctor they use. So, you might call one and see if they can give you instruction. Also, the AL seems to have some Hospice agencies that they use regularly. You can ask them. IT sounds like your father has some pretty serious health conditions.

My LO's doctor just recommended Hospice for my LO due to her end stage dementia, recent decline, including weight loss, hospital visits, fever and infections. They have just started and it seems like they are very supportive. I'd ask a lot of questions though, since things do change when they get involved regarding outside medical care charges.
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Reply to Sunnygirl1

A doctor is the only one that can prescribe hospice following an evaluation. To me, it doesn't sound like they are to that point yet.
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Reply to gladimhere

Why not? If the care provided will be more of what they need, let them have it.
Being on hospice doesn’t make them die, it just makes them more comfortable during their last days, weeks, months even years. You basically have to accept that medication isn’t going to cure them. That their conditions are terminal.
A dear friend of mine who had Alz and recurrent UTIs was put on hospice this past Feb. Two or three times she stayed in bed, didn’t eat and her son thought the end was near. Then she would be up and about. She turned 87 in June and was gone in July after just one or two days of staying in bed. The hospice care was wonderful.
Some patients actually get better. You can always take them off of hospice if you decide you want to. Having their support already on board when one or the other passes will be helpful to you as well.
Try to pick up a copy of Atul Gawandes book “ Being Mortal, Medicine and what matters in the end.” It will help.
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Reply to 97yroldmom

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