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My parents both live with my husband and I in a small addition; two bedroom partial kitchen (no stove! Just micro and small frig). They both have moderate dementia but very different. He is confused about simple directions and loss of words but takes care of his hygiene needs. She has short term memory loss and self neglect of personal hygiene and changing outfits. She will go over a month without showering or washing her hair. I’ve tried everything. She thinks we’re lying when we tell her it’s been 4-5 weeks. I tried a companion caregiver. They dismissed her after two weeks. It’s a constant battle with mom. I’ve given up the fight. I think she is heading to a faculty soon because she is so obstinate but on the other hand has many days of fairly normal behavior other than repeating things and lack of self care. I did accomplish using disposable incontinence panties! But that took months! Ugh. When do I make other arrangements for her care? So tired of the battle. It manifested long before she came to live with us but is definitely worse now.

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If you hired the caregivers...and if you were paying for the caregivers the decision to fire is yours not your parents.
If your Dad and or Mom are somewhat understanding what is going on you could explain that they have 2 choices.
1. Keep the help that they need
or
2. You will be left with no option but to find Memory Care placement for them.
And I say Memory Care rather than Assisted Living because once they move they will probably decline to the point that they will need Memory Care. And 1 move is easier than having to move them again.

Have you tried showering mom? Or helping her with ADL's?
She might take help from you more easily than a "stranger" then you can ease into someone else.
And keep in mind that a shower or bath every day is not necessary and may be harsh on an older persons skin. 2 times a week is all that is required in most states when a person resides in a facility. (and if a person in a facility refuses a shower or bath they can not be forced to take one, then comes gentle persuasion)
As long as cleaning is done properly then a bath or shower twice a week is enough.
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You can look into placing them both together in a Memory Care Assisted Living community in your area so they can stay together & be cared for by a round-the-clock team specifically trained in dementia care. Dementia is a progressive disease, meaning it's going to get worse. Don't wait for an emergency to occur before you get them placed......it'll be a lot easier to do it now!
Best of luck!
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People with moderate dementia really need around the clock care, especially, if they are incontinent. And, living in separate addition.....I don't think that works for people past early stage. They need direct supervision to protect them and ensure they don't hurt themselves, get proper toileting, bathing, meals, etc. Are you discussing their condition with their doctors? Resistance to care is rather common. I'd immediately explore how you will get outside help to come into them or placement for them.
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