Follow
Share

My mother will be going into a home shortly. Besides her physical state, her mental state is not good. She is married to my step-dad. Her home, and all of it's contents are owned by her estate. The only things that my step-dad owns in the home are his personal belongings. My mother was/is a hoarder. There is sooooo much stuff in her home. The executor of her estate told me that when she goes into a home, then he'd like to get started on removing the excess from her home........and of course keeping whatever needs to stay so my step-dad can live there. Once my mother passes, then my step-dad, per the estate, is allowed to stay in the home for six months then he needs to leave so the home can be sold.


A friend of mine says that the executor of the estate needs to get my mothers permission before anything can be removed from the home. Well, ok, but here's the deal. My mother is not in her right mind. My friend then said that the executor of her estate then needs to go to my mother's attorney and ask the attorney about this.


I don't get this. If everything in the home except her husband's personal property is owned by the estate, then why couldn't the executor go into the home and at least get started on the process??????????

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Willen, please take FF's advice. Sight impairment needs to be a prime consideration in moving or changing anything, and it and the safety related issues are more important than starting to clean out.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

First, is Mom on Medicaid? If she is, and the items are worth a lot of money (like antiques) then Medicaid will want the money, if sold, for her care. Better you hang on to them.
Here is what I did as POA. First, Mom had nothing of value. I put the house up for sale which my POA allowed. Then I started getting rid of things my Nephew Didn't need to live there. I gave most of it to Church yard sales. SIL came and took what she wanted. There are 3 of us the forth has passed. I got boxes with storage lids and divided up pictures for each child and anything that pertained to them, like old high school stuff. Paperwork got sorted, some kept some thrown away. I see no problem in getting into the house and clearing out what was hoarded first. Then you can look at what's left. Leave what stepdad needs to live there. Executor may want to store what maybe worth anything until Mom passes. She has to stick by the will.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Whether as trustee or POA, your cousin needs to be very careful in "cleaning out" the house. There are others who may have an interest in the eventual disposition of your mother's assets, and your cousin may be leaving themselves open to problems, regardless of their good intentions. Many families have stories of "hidden family treasures" that never turn up after the parents have died.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

It’s understandable to remove trash of course, but keep an eye peeled for the silver and valuables.

My family swarmed my Mamaw’s house by the time she was settled into the nursing home. Cleaned her valuables out.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Willienme1950, thanks for the update regarding your Step-Dad health issues.

Whenever a person has issues with seeing, do NOT, I repeat do NOT make any changes inside the house. A person who is blind need to have everything in the same place so that he can find what he wants.

I noticed that with my Mom when she was eventually legally blind. Only she could put away the groceries, and no one else. Mom was still pretty sharp being in her 90's so her brain was mapping where she put everything. Any changes in location of an item became extremely difficult for her. Like the final lost of independence.

Now since your Mom was a hoarder, I can see removing items from rooms that your Step-Dad does not use. And maybe widening the trails throughout the house.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Let me answer some of your questions. My step-father is blind and is also 92. He has two sons who live nearby. When the six months are up he is going to go to a VA Home. My mother and step-dad had a prenuptial agreement. They have been married 26 years. Honestly it is questionable if my step-dad can live alone in the home. That is something he and his sons will need to decide. Good question as to whether "my cousin" is the executor of the will and or the trustee. I think my cousin the executor or trustee has good intentions in at least starting the process to rid the home and property of excess items. My mother has lived in this home for 74 years, and she is a hoarder. It is going to take, and I'm not exagerating, (sp), about 6 Semi Truck Loads to get rid of everything.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I, too, worry for your step dad. My mom just passed. My step dad told me that the trust says that the surviving spouse can stay for 2 years, then must sale the home and give half to the children. I spoke with my brother and sister, then informed my step dad he can stay as long as he wants. We can get our part when he is ready to take, or even after he passes. I would hope that his children would have done the same for our mom.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Good point, FF. A Trustee could act now, if it's not the mother, but an Executor can't.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Willienme1950, I agree with GardenArtist above, six months is not enough time for your Step-Dad to remain in the house. Don't forget once your Mom passes, he has lost the love of his life.

Note: there might be State laws that Step-Dad is entitled to receive the house after your Mom passes on.... something to look into now before other arrangements are made. How long have your Mom and Step-Dad been married? Some States use the time married as a guide.

When you mention executor, do you mean Trustee of Mom's Revocable Trust or do you mean Executor of Mom's Will? If it is for the Will, then that person cannot do anything until Mom passes. While Mom is alive, it is up to who Mom appointed as her Power of Attorney if Mom cannot make decisions for herself.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Willie, I've been wondering something else. How well do you know the executor? Is he/she a personal friend, family member? I couldn't help wondering as I read and reread your post if this person wasn't a bit too anxious to start on the executor's duties.

There is merit in pre-cleaning the house, but it also allows a lot of authority to someone who at this point doesn't really have the option to exercise that authority.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

GardenArtist is spot on, who does step dad have to help him. Seek legal advise about what an executor can do before they are actually in charge by the death of a person.

Sorry about your mom, it's hard.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I'm of the opinion that the executor may be trying to be helpful, but your mother's confusion isn't going to allow him to get permission. And legally, he doesn't have the authority until he actually becomes executor when she passes. So, right now, as I understand the situation, he doesn't have authority to act on your mother's behalf.

It wouldn't hurt to confirm this with your mother's attorney.

I also want to share a concern about your stepfather's living arrangements after your mother passes. We never know when that will occur, and six months may not be enough time to give his needs attention as you'll also be dealing with your mother's death.

You might consider researching placements for him now, meeting, questioning, and identifying one or two so that when the times comes you can move more quickly before the 6 month period passes. That way you can also participate in the decision making.

There's also a concern I have as to who would in fact handle this placement. The executor will handle your mother's estate and would be obligated to ensure that the six month compliance is effected, but who will be representing your stepfather? Has he executed a POA or DPOA that would give you, or someone, authority to act on his behalf?

It's not the executor's obligation unless there is specific wording to that effect in the Will, but on the other hand, it's your mother's will, not your stepfather's. So I do question whether or not the Executor would have capacity to find a placement for your stepfather. If not, then who will?
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.