It has been a process in finding out where she grew up. She did NOT have a copy of her birth certificate. I searched everywhere in her home. In asking her, she believed she was born in White Plains, NY. We went to the Records bureau and found no birth cert. I called her Aunt, we keep in contact w/her, and was told to check her Mother's obituary or death cert. we finally found it, and found she wasn't born in NY at all. We do have a birth cert now. I DID think that maybe she was thinking of a childhood home, I KNEW where she graduated high school, Barbara had told me so I knew the city. But after many tries, I don't think the childhood home was "home". She always gave me her address as home. I worried that "home" was heaven....MANY times she would ask God to please take her "home" AFTER she asked him WHY he gave her this awful disease. She had no siblings, an only child raised by a single Mom. Her mom passed in 1995....she misses her dearly and usually remembers Mom has passed, but she has Alzheimer's and sometimes believes her Mom is still alive. She was a VERY ACTIVE woman in her life and in her church....strong, INDEPENDENT, caring of her friends and family. It is so hard for me to see this VITAL woman in this condition.
mernny123, when a person has memory issues, using the words "going home" they usually mean going back to their childhood home where life was simple and happy.
Do you know where your neighbor had grown up? Or is this her childhood home? Could be she is unhappy because she doesn't see her parents or siblings [if she had any] at the house.
I am caring for my neighbor. She was diagnosed with early onset end of 2015. Some months ago, she was always saying she wanted to "go home". I have been her neighbor for 40 years...this IS the ONLY home I know she has. I did try to tell her she WAS home, but, as you may have guessed, that only agitated her and she would get angry. It became a ritual for me for almost 2 months, that daily she'd say she needs to go home now, and we would go for a drive....different ways every time, but, when we arrived back home, she was happy. The drives always included conversation with memories of things she has done in the past. Fast forward a few months, we haven't done the drive, but, I am hearing again she wants to go home. MAY be doing the drive again...if nothing else, it gets her out of the apartment. NOT an easy thing to do these days anymore. Her delusions, her conversations take up most of her day...but I do worry when sometimes her "conversations" tell her to go outside and wait for a "friend" who will pick her up. Then she starts to wander....waiting. Luckily, I live right downstairs and "catch" her outside....When I question her she says she's waiting for a friend, and I'll wait w/her, til we go back inside...
Could you say a little more about the circumstances? - because it depends so much on what exactly is happening.
Best practice as professional guidelines set it out is that you go with them. So, for example, if the person wants to leave the building the caregiver accompanies the person, rather than preventing them, and/but uses diversion techniques to get them to return safely inside.
In any case, you want as far as possible to avoid confrontation. Keep the situation as calm as possible, don't argue or raise your voice, use questions to understand what is going through the person's head and then use that information to get him back inside.
If he 'wants to go home' you could say he needs to wait for his lift home back in the facility.
If it's your family house and he wants to 'go home', try suggesting he has a drink or a meal first before the journey.
Anyway - if you could describe your particular situation perhaps there will be lots of relevant ideas.
I guess that would depend on her condition. When my mother kept trying to "go home" I had all the locks changed to dead bolts that had to be opened with a key. Of course, that created a safety issue so I hid a key next to each door and told the caregivers where they were.
I think others put a latch on the doors that the loved one couldn't reach. I didn't think that would work with my mother because she would have climbed on a chair to reach it.
Do you know where your neighbor had grown up? Or is this her childhood home? Could be she is unhappy because she doesn't see her parents or siblings [if she had any] at the house.
Best practice as professional guidelines set it out is that you go with them. So, for example, if the person wants to leave the building the caregiver accompanies the person, rather than preventing them, and/but uses diversion techniques to get them to return safely inside.
In any case, you want as far as possible to avoid confrontation. Keep the situation as calm as possible, don't argue or raise your voice, use questions to understand what is going through the person's head and then use that information to get him back inside.
If he 'wants to go home' you could say he needs to wait for his lift home back in the facility.
If it's your family house and he wants to 'go home', try suggesting he has a drink or a meal first before the journey.
Anyway - if you could describe your particular situation perhaps there will be lots of relevant ideas.
I think others put a latch on the doors that the loved one couldn't reach. I didn't think that would work with my mother because she would have climbed on a chair to reach it.