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My mother is telling me that she is visiting with her mother who died over 40 years ago and conversing with my brother who passed away 4 years ago. I don’t want to distress her with a “jolt of reality” but I don’t know if going along with it is healthy either. Not sure what to do, any advice?

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Dad asked me if he was hallucinating.  He saw his sergeant from WW II, and his brother came to tell him that he'd been sent to help him 'over' when it was time.  I told him to believe what he saw, and enjoy the visits.  He died 3 months later, but Mum lasted a year after seeing her mother at the kitchen table every morning.  Let her enjoy the visits.
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Reply to GrannieAnnie
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Well, I know I am not alone ion believing in an afterlife, and watching 4 very close relatives pass through the door to the other side---all 4 of them conversed quite freely with family who had passed before them.

Don't discourage it. Why? They are enjoying this and I think it's a 'help' for the aging one who is going to join them soon. We actively encouraged my g-ma to get up and 'go' with granddad, whom she had lost 36 years previously. My own daddy saw his mom and sister. So calming for him.

If the dreams are agitating them--that's a different story. But my LO's all had pleasant 'experiences'.
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Reply to Midkid58
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Go along with the conversation in as much as you can tolerate. My mom tells me that her room in assisted living is where she and my dad used to go to talk when they first met. This is lovely and comforts her. But she has just started telling me that all the trees are dead because of a storm and that all the houses in the neighborhood are abandoned, except the one next door, where a doctor has moved in to fix the place up. I explain to her that the trees aren't dead, they just haven't leafed out yet because it is early spring. Soon they will be green. No, she says, they are dead and have been for about 10 years. No one comes to replace them. Does anyone have money for new trees? Then I try to get her to go more into her story, thinking perhaps she is remembering a storm somewhere from long ago, but she doesn't seem to be able to come up with any more of it, instead asks me to find out when someone will come to replace the trees. She's really stuck on the "dead" trees. I'm an artist, so I don't spend much time in reality myself, but she is distressed about this story she has made up. I tell her I did call, but the landscape people are busy somewhere else, but will come soon. She says to not believe them. Thankfully, the trees WILL bud out and she won't see dead trees for many months. This seems some sort of partner with sundowners syndrome. Winter syndrome?
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Reply to ArtistDaughter
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I think this is more your mother remembering a visit she actually had with her mother and/or son sometime in the past. Dementia seems to allow people to "move" in time (at least in their minds) to previous periods, often decades past. I would occasionally ask questions about the house or the person my LO was "visiting" and often the things I could confirm were accurate. I recommend you just go along, no reason to distress your Mom with your reality when she is enjoying her own reality more.
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Reply to TNtechie
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Just go with the flow. My mother used to sit and laugh for ages while talking with deceased
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Reply to Pandabear
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Just ask how they are doing. She may be getting visits to prepare her for her passing. As long as it isn't scaring her, it is all good.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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Tell her to say hello for you. My friend's mom started talking alot with people on the other side, a few months later, she joined them....
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Reply to MAYDAY
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Just let it go. I don't think that no matter how many times you discuss it, she probably won't remember. And if she understand they're dead, it will be upsetting to her every time you tell her. I think the kinder thing to do is just play along. No harm done.
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Reply to againx100
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