For one her kids go home. My big kid is 24/7 365 days a yr. No weekends off no holidays no vacation. Second, the kids she cares for grows more independent where my kid grows more dependent on me. But she still says its the same. HELP me.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Let's talk diapers-
Refusal to have diaper changed-pick child up and put on changing table. Clean with wipe, place one diaper under bottom, attach tapes. done. Return child to playpen and give favorite toy.

Demented elder-
Refusal to have diaper changed- pleading by you for 10 minutes, then distraction, finally in bathroom. Won't sit on toilet. Fight ensues to remove diaper. More pleading and explaining. Finally on toilet. Puts hand into poopy diaper before you can roll  it up. Now cleaning hand and using nail brush. Back to elimination-"Why don't you go pee while we're here?" "I don't have to." You clean privates and get a clean diaper. When LO stands up, pee comes down. Aaahhhhh!!!. Sit LO down on toilet again (mumbling under your breath, "I thought you said you didn't have to pee!) Wipe privates again with wipes, apply NEW diaper, assist with standing and tuck shirt into pants-"NOOO, I don't want my shirt tucked into my pants!!!" Pull shirt out with a bit more force than necessary. Turn to assist in washing hands at sink. "NOOOO, the water is too cold." Wait 30 seconds for water to heat up. "NOOO, my rings will fall off." Take rings off and put in a secure place. Pump soap into hands, "NOOO, that's too much soap!!!" Make sure no more poopies under nails, "Aaaahhhhhh that nail brush is KILLING me!!!" Rinse hands, get towel. "NOOO, they're still wet!!"
Dry hands thoroughly. Return LO to sofa and assist in sitting down. Place pillow behind back, then....."I have to go to the bathroom." Explain (why?) that she just went-to no avail.
Go to garage-scream your lungs out-return. Pour 4 ozs. of whatever wine is available's 5 o'clock somewhere!!!!!

That's the difference. 😜

This scenario was taken from an actual caregiving day with my mom.
Kids are sooooo much easier. 👼🏼
Helpful Answer (47)

Ask her to sit with your mom for 4 hours.

Frankly, I would just laugh gently at someone so pitifully stupid.
Helpful Answer (27)

Well, one example comes to mind, and I know there are many. If a young child tumbles over onto the rug, do we call 911 or go over a pick the child up? Of course, we are able to pick the child up.

If an elder tumbles over onto the rug, chances are we cannot lift up the person by ourselves thus a call to 911. This could happen on a regular basis.
Helpful Answer (23)

This is a common comparison from those on the outside, I even heard it from mom's doctor. There ARE a few commonalities, but each has unique challenges and though both are caregiving they are not the same at all. Do you have a good relationship with her, would it be worth the time to try to educate her, or not? If not you can explain until you are blue in the face, but if she wants to belittle your efforts nothing you say will ever matter, she won't want to hear it.

edit - 4 hours Barb? I'm afraid that might only reinforce her beliefs, asking for a weekend while you take a break might get through to her.
Helpful Answer (20)

She or he is just an idiot.Don't bother to explain waste of time.Who knows carma is b.just watch what will happen to her or him....My brother told me over the telephone that taking care of my mother of 63 years old with dementia is the same as taking care of his children!I said I have to go and put the phone down.
Helpful Answer (18)

There is much written how it is not the same. Google it then provide her some of those articles by well respected elder care experts.

See if that person would trade you places/jobs for just one day. Nothing like feet on the ground.
Helpful Answer (15)

Go have said family member go change her diaper and have them get back to you. After my brother watched me change grandma's diaper for the first time, he said it was 10 times worse than changing the diaper on his 2 year old.
Helpful Answer (14)

Tell her you'll gladly trade for a week and THEN see if she still feels the same way.
I don't know whether to feel sorry for her ignorance and stupidity or be mad as hell that a grown woman can't distinguish the difference.
Obviously she's sorely lacking in the social graces of what to say and when.

Let it go. There's no reasoning with the undereducated.

You could show her these posts. 😄
Helpful Answer (13)

I think the comment was made out of ignorance from someone who has never had to care for an aging parent before. Try to shake it off and realize that this person just can't understand the difference until she's experienced caring for an elderly person. I understand your frustration with the comment but she obviously doesn't know any better.
Helpful Answer (12)

Oh Sue....I'm still laughing! Thanks for making me laugh. I also smile everytime I see a post from needtowashhair. Because I LOVE the name lol! Serious subject sure. But laughs are good too!
Helpful Answer (12)

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter