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My Husband who has Demetia constantly repeats things (who is this, what is that, are my parents dead and on and on) at first I would answer the best I could but now I try just ignoring. I feel bad when I ignore him but, I start to get angry at him if I don't. When I try to tell him something he always answers with (how do you know?) We can never have a conversation which I miss since we use to talk allot
He is still able to feed himself and mostly take care of himself . So am thankful for that. He is 88 and I am 89 and I always worry, what would happen to him if I should get sick.
I will try to keep us both at home as long as possible but is this to much to ask of myself?
We have downsized from a large home to a small place about 6 years ago.
I still am able to drive short distances. At my age I know that driving will end.
I guess what I want to know is am I doing the right thing or should we be thinking of going to Assited living or something like that.

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You are asking way too much of yourself in keeping both of you at home.

Find a lovely assisted living facility that transitions to memory care when the time comes. That way if husband is in memory care, you'll be close by. You'll have friends, activities, and outings. That would be so much better so much better so much better than listening to husband all day long all day long repeating himself. You'll have a support group, prepared meals and transportation provided. They'll make sure you both get to doctor appointments. Talk to some places soon. Go visit them. You'll see how much better they are than staying at home. The place will become your home.

The great thing is that if something happens to you, care will go on for your husband. I hope you find the perfect place.
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At times it is better to transition earlier than when it becomes an emergency situation, scrambling around to find a good facility, getting rid of your treasures and home is a real challenge even for younger people.

In the last 10 years, I have cleaned out 5 family homes and placed 4 people in AL, it was not only stressful but took a lot of physical effort on my part.

If you go to AL you will make new friends, have activities, not have to cook, clean and so on.

I placed my 94 yo mother in AL, she is now 98 and loves it!

Sending support your way!
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It sounds as though you are coping with life and DH remarkably well at present. Perhaps the only reason to consider AL is that any change is easier to make while you really are coping well. It’s harder to make new friends and take part in activities if you have run out of puff. Of course, it also depends on your finances and how long they will last – AL is not cheap! Best wishes, Margaret
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First I will say that repeating one self over and over is VERY common when one has dementia, and it can be quite frustrating for the loved one trying to care for that person.
Do you have access in your area to any Adult Daycare Centers as they can be life savers for family members needing to get a break from their loved one suffering with dementia? They are available 5 days a week and up to 8 hours a day. They offer breakfast, lunch and a snack plus lots of fun activities and even "spa" days(showers and hair washing)for those who attend.
They are worth every penny. And if money is an issue they also offer financial help.
Other than that I would say that it may be a good time to start looking into assisted living facilities that also have a memory care unit as your husband will eventually need that. That way you'll get the help you need and be able to interact with other folks your own age and be involved in all they have going on there too.
I wish you the very best as you go forward on this journey with your husband.
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oh my - the constant asking of the same questions will continue. His memory is very short. My daddy was the same way. if you don't want to answer the question that is up to you. I would only answer the question with the answer that would not upset my daddy. Example: he wanted me to take all his money out of the bank and give it to him. I said I can't give it to you here because there is not a safe here. So, I took a pix of a box under my house and told him I had hidden his money in the box under the house. He was soooo thankful that I hid his money. He also kept insisting that my friend was at his wedding and we argued about that until I just stopped answering it or try to reason with him it was not possible since she was not even born until five years after they were married. So yes you can stop answering. Remember this: each person is a separate case and what has worked for me may or may not work for you. Try it - it it doesn't work try something else. Blessings to you!
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