What's with old people and ripping up diapers?

My Mom wore small/med pull ups and she weighed 130 t0 150. Don't remember the liner coming out but Mom did try to take it out. I agree, it goes back to our period days.

When I ask them why they do it, both of them deny doing it.

As for trying different diapers, the storage room is like a diaper stockroom with various types of diapers with only 1 or 2 having been used. So far the best for diaper ripping out prevention is a XL child's diaper. They can't rip the pad out of that but the achilles' heel is the sides. They rip far too easy and thus they just pop off many times when they are just pulling them back up. Since those have been the best so far, I'm considering sewing up the sides to deal with it.

The ones I'm most disappointed with are the ones advertised as "slim" and "discrete" and being "just like regular underwear". I'm not seeing it. They are the same as any other diaper. A problem is getting diapers that are small enough. Both my mom and grandma are well under 125 pounds. "Small" adult diapers are for women up to 190 pounds. XL "child" diapers are up to 125 pounds. I think it says a lot about the obesity problem in the US that "small" adult women are 190 pounds and a child that still need diapers is 125.

As a person who is sensitive to many products (I get a rash from cheap toilet paper and the glue on store-brand bandaids) - it is possible that they are just uncomfortable.

Unfortunately, just like a toddler, they cannot tell you why they are doing it - but I often wonder if the underlying reason is discomfort. If you're using a name-brand, try the store brand.. If you're using a store-brand, try using a name brand. Also, just like baby diapers, some are better for boys and some are better for girls.

You might consider starting a thread with "What 'Diaper' are you using for your senior and what sex is this senior?" This will give you a better handle on "are any better than others?"

I don't have my DH in them - I have a urinal on his walker instead. Diapers cause UTI's and Fungal Infections - I'd rather just use the urinal with him as long as possible. Again, just like a toddler, as long as he has to hold it, he seems to be able to hold it - and he's 96.

My DW does not tear them up but she does hide them once in a while. Wet ones may be left on the floor and others can be anywhere. Like behind my clothes that are hanging up on a hook or behind the bathroom door on the robe hook. Many clean ones go into the trash.
I will take this as a notice for future events.

Have you tried asking your mother why she does that? Perhaps, the pad is too thick, too cumbersome, too hot, too uncomfortable, etc.. Try one on and see how it feels on you. You can get different brands and see which she likes better.  Good luck. It must be very frustrating for you.

Adding to Grannyteacher's comment, what about putting a pad in the diaper, so she can remove it?

Maybe the habit goes back to menstrual period days 😋