Because I am a sad cow and because I get cross about familial carers not being paid to care I did a few calculations which are UK based but probably relevant to some degree elsewhere.
Mum has mixed dementia and is therefore only eligible for care homes that are registered to take dementia cases.
I did a quick survey of care homes that offer a level of care I find acceptable - I also did a quick tour of three of those and there is no way on Gods earth I would put her in 2 of them. Cost for one week 960.00 rising to 1100 for the best. That does not include trips out, hairdressing, massage etc so I am going to add those in later and round figures where it is sensible.
Lets says £1000 a week for care $1540 in the states thats 52000 a year
1 trip to the church on a Sunday is £22 so lets call it 20 and then that is another £1000 a year. Then lets add on hairdressing every month. Another £200 a year minimum. A day trip out is £55 and they offer two a week if she just went on 1 a week that is still another £2500 a year. if you need to have legal representation that in the UK is almost £200 an hour - even at 1 hour a month which is miserly if they are acting as POA for financial affairs then that is still another £2500 a year.
So before anyone undermines you - your FREE caregiving saves your country about £60000 a year $92500. That is your true worth people. if you offer massage and I give Mum about 15 minutes every day then bolt on a staggering £5000 a year - horrifying isn't it? Yet what is our reward? For some of us it is abuse, name calling, in some cases violence, repetitiveness, dependence, being at another's beck and call total responsibility AND accountability for seemingly everything (not that it is all related to dementia although a great part of it is and for some exacerbated by the illness). I think I had better start believing there is a God because if there isn't one has to wonder if it is all worthwhile. Right now it doesn't seem to be but I am having a bad day... well I am not but Mum has had and I have borne the brunt of it.