My Dad is starting chemo next week and he is already becoming weaker and weaker. What would we need to do for me to become his caregiver?

Hi Barcelona,

I'm sorry about your dad. Obviously you want to do all that you can to help him.

Your question lacks detail, but if you mean because you lack time since you have a job, then I'm afraid this could be very difficult unless you can take a leave of absence. There are laws in place for maternity leave and some other leaves but that doesn't mean that people get paid for the time off. Some do, some don't. Elder care is catching up in the more compassionate businesses but there's still an enormous way to go before most employers understand our needs.

If you mean because you need more knowledge, then I'd talk with his doctor about where you can learn to care for your dad's unique needs. Doctors generally have knowledge of training sessions lead by nurses to help families provide out patient care.

Please keep us updated on how you and your dad are doing.
Carol

Your Dad's becoming weaker and weaker in anticipation is likely a artifact of the brain's expectation of the future. If he could have some positive reinforcement the chemo will help him, that would probable mitigate some of the symptoms. Most of us fear cancer and chemo more than death itself. Try getting him in with a reputable hypnotherapist to help him through the process. Some psychologists have training in hypnotherapy.
As far as you preparing to become his caregiver, what are you preparing for? Is it a leave of absence from work? Is it psychological preparation? Is it preparing your home for him to live with you? You definitely need emotional support in this no matter what the situation.

Ask your employer about an FMLA leave of absence. Ask your own MD if you are healthy enough to do this. Chemo is no picnic.

Sorry to hear about your father Barcelona7. If you're asking on how to be his paid provider you can contact a home health care agency. Although, I do not know if all states are the same, but I think he would have to receive your state's form of Medicaid. The agency would take care of the paperwork and set up the evaluations.

Dear Barcelona, Chemo is a treatment that many doctors use in the fight against cancer. I thought long and hard before making this response. If I get cancer I will decline to have chemo. The chances that I will get cancer are pretty slim though. If your dad is willing to try a living food eating plan, he can help himself even if he does go ahead with the chemo. The plan requires eating raw and living foods daily. Living foods are sprouted legumes and grains. Raw speaks for itself. Check out Joe Cross' information in the video "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead." Also, the active ingredient in pineapple that fights cancer is bromelain. It is an enzyme that has shown more success in creating remission in cancer than chemotherapy. This was some research I recently read. Please check out your dad's options before the chemo. The chemo is so hard on the body and has limited success.

I am sorry about your dad. You need to go to your doctor and see if your mentally and is your health is good enough to do this. This is the hardest thing caring for someone sick . It can break you down like you never seen. Do you have small children or a husband you have to put them i mind too. Your first mind will be take him home but stop in think are you able to take a years off from work because your looking at today not tomorrow. Loving your dad is what is pushing you to do this but look at what this is a job. I know he may need you for many years in when they come in your home it is harder to see years ahead because you are looking day to day. I am just saying training is on the job the nurses can show you what you need to know but living sickness everyday is a killer if your not strong enough

Hi Barcelona. So sorry that your Dad is having to go through this. Don't forget that you will be going through it with him (not the treatments themselves), but the hard part of watching a loved one that is not well get even more sick with treatments. You might try contacting your local Agency on Aging. They have many resources to help you get information you need in order to be your Dad's caregiver. Some even have Caregiver Guides that are a tremendous help. These guides have all kinds of information in them. Even if you call and talk to someone, it's a start. Sounds like it may be a "bumpy road" for a while. Just remember that there are a lot of people you can get help and advice from. Take care of yourself so that you don't get sick because then you won't be able to help take care of your Dad (not sure if you have your own family as well), but if you have others to care for besides your Dad, you'll need some help. Good luck with this, don't be afraid to ask for help, and God bless you and especially your Dad.

I would have him sign a power of attorney. If he's very sick and not able to handle business and insurance matters, you'll need to step in.

Does he already have a Living Will and Healthcare Power of Attorney. I know it sounds hard to do, but when you need it, it's a very big deal. I can't imagine having to handle matters for my cousin, if I hadn't had the POA. You need that to even speak with the phone company about a phone or cable service.

Just as an FYI, when I was caring for my mom, I had a Power of Attorney and a Health Care Proxy. Some of the time I only needed a Health Care Proxy because they didn't care if I had Power of Attorney. Other times I needed the Power of Attorney and not the Health Care Proxy. Still other times, I needed both. It can't hurt to have all the things you need - just in case, including the will. P.S. I've also heard of a Durable Power of Attorney, but I'm not sure what the difference is between a regular on and that one. I'm just glad I had what I needed ahead of time, because it made things much easier to take care of her needs. Good luck with all of this.