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I am worried sick about where I will go and where I will live once my mother passes away. I understand the bank will want the funds owed on the house right away and there is no way I can come up with 268,000 to pay the bank back or take out another loan as my credit is horrendous. I am 63 and have nightmares of living in my car or being homeless. I have no relatives who wish to become involved or help me. I am basically on my own. Ihave a small social security pension but is not enough to live on. I am overwhelmed, exhausted from taking care of mother solo and on top of all of this I am scared to death about my future. I have faith in God, but it is hard to keep my faith when my future seems so uncertain. Anyone know of any resources I can tap into when all of this happens? Thank you and God Bless you.

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Glo - Unfortunately the RM agreement is limited to your mom (and if she was married to her and her spouse); there is no agreement in the loan to you or your status. A RM is a loan which is due in full within short order after mom dies. Your situation is the nightmare that many face when their parents get a RM.

Now there are some things you might consider doing, these are on 3 fronts:
1. Tomorrow call around or get on-line to find out how to get your name on low-income housing in your area. All areas have some sort of Section 8 housing in which your rent is based on your income. I would suggest that you get on the list for those that are all senior communities. You want to "move" right away - you can always go back & forth between there and mom's place. This will also be less stressful for the day that there is no longer mom's house to use. The good part about being in ones that are senior community is that you may find that all those skills you have developed from taking care of mom, will be appreciated in this type of housing, You may find that you can now be a sitter for one of your neighbors for extra income, or that Miss Annie will pay you to accompany her to the doctor or do her shopping. Nothing major for $ as you don't want to jeopardize your low-income status but something extra to get a pork-roast on your table….You are still young and now have all these skills and experience in dealing with the true elderly!


2. Funds spent on mom's house. You can file a "bill" for any and all expenses that your personally have spent on the house. This will be your lein or claim on the property, which if done correctly, will have to be paid to you in order for the house to get a clean clear title to be sold later on by the mortgage holder. These do require that you have your wits about you and can maneuver the courthouse, but you can do this,. Say you paid for roof repair (2K) and plumber (1K) and for those cans of paint ($ 200.00). Then you can invoice the house $ 3,800.00 to be paid or reimbursed for these costs. You are mom's caregiver, your 'in-kind" between you & her are about your caregiving & NOT about paying on stuff for the house. You have no benefit in paying for roof repairs as you will not benefit from the house in the long run. Therefore you should be reimbursed for those type of expenses. Understand? This would be a workman's or service lein on the house which is filed on the property @ the courthouse. Once that is done (it will be a small filing fee), until it is cleared (paid off) the house cannot be properly sold. Now you do need to have the "bill" fully documented with receipts or cancelled checks.

3. Apply for Medicaid or the Affordable Care Act - you need to have health insurance. If you income is low, ACA cost to you will be close to zero too. If your state is one of those balking on ACA, then apply for Medicaid, Medicaid can take some time and you will need to get some documents together but it has to be done. The good part about this time of the year (Feb) is that all those forms you need for this have just been mailed to you in the past couple of months. Like your annual future statement from SS and the annual tax form from SS, the tax bill on the house; etc. All those things you will need to have to successfully apply for Medicaid. I have found that the Medicaid caseworkers really do want you to be accepted on the program but that IF you cannot get the documents required to them in a timely manner, they have no choice but to deny the application. It can take time to gather all this together, so the sooner the better, You also will need these things for applying for Section 8 housing too.

and lastly…try to find time for yourself. This is in someways the hardest thing to do as your life has becomes entwined with mom's. This week get up, get mom all situated and then you get out on your own. Go to the library - it's free and there will be one someplace close to you - in many places libraries have become a community center or resource with computers and classes (usually free) for you to take. Before 2PM is great as after 2 they fill up with kids doing homework or gaming and there is no broadband left!! The libraries in my area do yoga classes, AARP tax services for seniors, art classes, how to media classes, etc in addition to loaning out movies, books on tape and old-school printed books. Also you can goggle your county's extension service to see what classes they are doing….like spring planting classes or community garden that need extra hands. Your church many also have programs you can do. All these are easy minimal cost to you to participate in things you can do for yourself. Good luck and when you start to feel overwhelmed get outside and go for a walk. None of this is easy or simple!
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