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People actually about coming to visit because my husband refuses to do this. Changes clothes every 3 months.. he's a heavy smoker.

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Cathy, how long has it been since Hubby has been to see his doctor? I always use the excuse that my hubby’s pcp needs to see him at least once a year to renew his meds. That’s how I get him in there. I bathe hubby at least every other day. He is bedridden so I can’t get him in the shower, but I do the best I can to watch for infections, bed sores, etc.

It sounds like Hubby isn’t feeling well, mentally and/or physically. There are medications out there that could make him feel better about himself and his life.

I know it’s very difficult to keep odors down in your home, especially in winter when windows are shut tight. My hubby is incontinent and I try not to leave his bedding sit. I use clearners to mop floors and wash his bed that have a pretty strong fragrance. I’ve also used Febreze, candles and plug-in fresheners. I know there is an odor people notice when they come over but I do the best I can within my own abilities.

Try to get Hubby to the doctor’s. The way he’s acting isn’t normal. He may not want to go, but at least you tried.
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Cathy, sometimes were one get older, bathing/showing becomes an exhausting chore. I am beginning to notice that on my self. There is that fear of falling plus some showers become claustrophobic.

Between baths, one can use baby wipes to clean themselves all over. There are also wipes for adults to use. There is also waterless hair shampoos.

As for living in the same clothes for every 3 months, couldn't you just grab those clothes when hubby gets ready for bed? Could it be those clothes are the only ones that he feels comfortable wearing. Others could be too tight or too loose around the waist.

As for the cigarette smoking, nothing you can do about that. Was he a smoker when you met him? If yes, then you accepted him along with the smoking. Bet the whole house smells of the tobacco, so visitors would need to accept that if they wish to visit with hubby.

As for infections. Only two came to mind, one is Urinary Tract Infection. That can make a person very grumpy, non-user friendly, and sometimes violent. Who'd think such an infection could reek such havoc. If hubby is quite over-weight then there could be infections within the folds of his skin.
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