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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
My Mom's nurse told me that since she has been continuously putting her hand in the air and leaving it there for awhile, she may have started transition.
I can only speak to my own observation. First was loss of appetite. Then my wife would sleep a lot to the point she was asleep several days. When the nurse checked her heart was racing. She died later that night.
These are common physical, emotional, and mental signs that may appear in the final days or hours of life. They can vary from person to person, but recognizing them helps provide calm, compassionate support. Physical Signs • Changes in breathing: Irregular, shallow, or pauses between breaths (Cheyne–Stokes pattern). • 'Death rattle': A rattling sound caused by fluid in the throat or chest. • Cool or mottled skin: Hands, feet, and legs may become bluish or cool as circulation slows. • Weak pulse and lowered blood pressure. • Decreased food and fluid intake: The person may stop eating or drinking; forcing fluids is not helpful. • More sleeping or unresponsiveness: The person may drift in and out of consciousness. • Reduced urine output: Urine becomes darker and less frequent as kidney function declines. • Muscle weakness: Difficulty moving, speaking softly, or swallowing. Emotional and Mental Signs • Withdrawal: The person may appear quiet, detached, or uninterested in surroundings. • Visions or conversations with deceased loved ones: Often comforting to the person. • Disorientation: Confusion about time, place, or identity of people present. • Restlessness or agitation: May fidget or pick at sheets, sometimes due to physical discomfort. How to Offer Comfort • Be present and calm: Gentle touch and a soft, reassuring voice are soothing. • Listen without correcting: Accept what they say, even if it doesn’t make sense logically. • Create a peaceful atmosphere: Soft lighting, quiet presence, or music can help.
A gentle reminder for all of us..,yes hearing is the last sense to go...so if you are in ear shot of a dying person, please remember...that they may not be able to respond to you, but they can hear and overhear everything that is said.
My mom started seeing dead relatives a few months prior to passing away. She stopped eating and her skin started to change. I knew there was no turning back. Everyone goes through different changes at the end. You will know when you see her skin mottled. I am sorry for your future loss. It's very tough to watch your mom die.
My dad put his hands in the air also, about three weeks before death.
(However, he also did this in the hospital a few years ago, when he caught covid at age 90. I learned that was hospital delirium. He didn't do it when he returned home.)
Also for both my 92 year old dad and my 92 year old aunt, they would move their bedsheet around or pull at it the final week.
My dad refused food and drink for the two weeks before he passed. Even thickened fluids were hard for him, and he would cough. He was on Seroquel and Haldol as needed, but for the most part he was calm.
On my dad's final day, his breathing slowed and he had the death rattle. However my aunt never had the rattle, only coughing. My dad was on morphine for two full days. He simply passed peacefully, no gasping for air.
I was told by family that my late mother smiled, seeming she knew death was coming. She was under palliative care back in November 2014, just hours before her life exit.
Do look up on the internet "signs end of life is approaching". There will be changes in breathing (commonly known as Cheyne-Stokes breathing) which will involve more shallow respirations that can stop for some long seconds, followed by a small gasp and continued breathing. There will be cooling of the extremities, especially below the level of the knees, with some mottling of purplish coloring. There is likely to be some restlessness that requires medication due to organ shutdown. There may be visions of family members who have passed if there is consciousness. There will be a lack of interest in trying to reassure or entertain visitors. There may be actions with arms, hands and fingers, such as picking at bed linens.
Both of my grandparents did this, in a hospice facility, just before death. The nurses said some people believe this is the patient's loved ones coming in to escort them out - they didn't want to say this is definitely what happens because no one knows for certain, but if it is true, It should give us some comfort that they don't pass away alone.
I've never personally heard of that or seen that, but I hope that your mom is now under hospice care as her hospice nurse can answer any questions you may have about what stage your mom is in. And it's my understanding that hearing is the last sense to go, so make sure that you are leaving nothing left unsaid with your mom.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
These are common physical, emotional, and mental signs that may appear in the final days or hours of life. They can vary from person to person, but recognizing them helps provide calm, compassionate support.
Physical Signs
• Changes in breathing: Irregular, shallow, or pauses between breaths (Cheyne–Stokes pattern).
• 'Death rattle': A rattling sound caused by fluid in the throat or chest.
• Cool or mottled skin: Hands, feet, and legs may become bluish or cool as circulation slows.
• Weak pulse and lowered blood pressure.
• Decreased food and fluid intake: The person may stop eating or drinking; forcing fluids is not helpful.
• More sleeping or unresponsiveness: The person may drift in and out of consciousness.
• Reduced urine output: Urine becomes darker and less frequent as kidney function declines.
• Muscle weakness: Difficulty moving, speaking softly, or swallowing.
Emotional and Mental Signs
• Withdrawal: The person may appear quiet, detached, or uninterested in surroundings.
• Visions or conversations with deceased loved ones: Often comforting to the person.
• Disorientation: Confusion about time, place, or identity of people present.
• Restlessness or agitation: May fidget or pick at sheets, sometimes due to physical discomfort.
How to Offer Comfort
• Be present and calm: Gentle touch and a soft, reassuring voice are soothing.
• Listen without correcting: Accept what they say, even if it doesn’t make sense logically.
• Create a peaceful atmosphere: Soft lighting, quiet presence, or music can help.
(However, he also did this in the hospital a few years ago, when he caught covid at age 90. I learned that was hospital delirium. He didn't do it when he returned home.)
Also for both my 92 year old dad and my 92 year old aunt, they would move their bedsheet around or pull at it the final week.
My dad refused food and drink for the two weeks before he passed. Even thickened fluids were hard for him, and he would cough. He was on Seroquel and Haldol as needed, but for the most part he was calm.
On my dad's final day, his breathing slowed and he had the death rattle. However my aunt never had the rattle, only coughing. My dad was on morphine for two full days. He simply passed peacefully, no gasping for air.
If you have hospice do discuss fully with them.
And it's my understanding that hearing is the last sense to go, so make sure that you are leaving nothing left unsaid with your mom.