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My Mom's nurse told me that since she has been continuously putting her hand in the air and leaving it there for awhile, she may have started transition.

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I can only speak to my own observation. First was loss of appetite. Then my wife would sleep a lot to the point she was asleep several days. When the nurse checked her heart was racing. She died later that night.
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Signs That Someone Is Actively Dying

These are common physical, emotional, and mental signs that may appear in the final days or hours of life. They can vary from person to person, but recognizing them helps provide calm, compassionate support.
Physical Signs
• Changes in breathing: Irregular, shallow, or pauses between breaths (Cheyne–Stokes pattern).
• 'Death rattle': A rattling sound caused by fluid in the throat or chest.
• Cool or mottled skin: Hands, feet, and legs may become bluish or cool as circulation slows.
• Weak pulse and lowered blood pressure.
• Decreased food and fluid intake: The person may stop eating or drinking; forcing fluids is not helpful.
• More sleeping or unresponsiveness: The person may drift in and out of consciousness.
• Reduced urine output: Urine becomes darker and less frequent as kidney function declines.
• Muscle weakness: Difficulty moving, speaking softly, or swallowing.
Emotional and Mental Signs
• Withdrawal: The person may appear quiet, detached, or uninterested in surroundings.
• Visions or conversations with deceased loved ones: Often comforting to the person.
• Disorientation: Confusion about time, place, or identity of people present.
• Restlessness or agitation: May fidget or pick at sheets, sometimes due to physical discomfort.
How to Offer Comfort
• Be present and calm: Gentle touch and a soft, reassuring voice are soothing.
• Listen without correcting: Accept what they say, even if it doesn’t make sense logically.
• Create a peaceful atmosphere: Soft lighting, quiet presence, or music can help.
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Reply to HaveYourBack
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Ziggy9: Prayers forthcoming.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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A gentle reminder for all of us..,yes hearing is the last sense to go...so if you are in ear shot of a dying person, please remember...that they may not be able to respond to you, but they can hear and overhear everything that is said.
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Reply to Hrmgrandcna
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My mom started seeing dead relatives a few months prior to passing away. She stopped eating and her skin started to change. I knew there was no turning back. Everyone goes through different changes at the end. You will know when you see her skin mottled. I am sorry for your future loss. It's very tough to watch your mom die.
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Reply to Onlychild2024
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My dad put his hands in the air also, about three weeks before death.

(However, he also did this in the hospital a few years ago, when he caught covid at age 90. I learned that was hospital delirium. He didn't do it when he returned home.)

Also for both my 92 year old dad and my 92 year old aunt, they would move their bedsheet around or pull at it the final week.

My dad refused food and drink for the two weeks before he passed. Even thickened fluids were hard for him, and he would cough. He was on Seroquel and Haldol as needed, but for the most part he was calm.

On my dad's final day, his breathing slowed and he had the death rattle. However my aunt never had the rattle, only coughing. My dad was on morphine for two full days. He simply passed peacefully, no gasping for air.
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Reply to DaughterofAD3
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I was told by family that my late mother smiled, seeming she knew death was coming. She was under palliative care back in November 2014, just hours before her life exit.
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Reply to Patathome01
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Do look up on the internet "signs end of life is approaching". There will be changes in breathing (commonly known as Cheyne-Stokes breathing) which will involve more shallow respirations that can stop for some long seconds, followed by a small gasp and continued breathing. There will be cooling of the extremities, especially below the level of the knees, with some mottling of purplish coloring. There is likely to be some restlessness that requires medication due to organ shutdown. There may be visions of family members who have passed if there is consciousness. There will be a lack of interest in trying to reassure or entertain visitors. There may be actions with arms, hands and fingers, such as picking at bed linens.

If you have hospice do discuss fully with them.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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CeceJones Oct 23, 2025
My mom did all this except for her skin mottling. She passed on Oct 7th. Her death was peaceful. Hospice prepared me for it all.
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Mom did this. I didn't see it but the hospice RN and our CNA saw it.
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Reply to brandee
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Both of my grandparents did this, in a hospice facility, just before death. The nurses said some people believe this is the patient's loved ones coming in to escort them out - they didn't want to say this is definitely what happens because no one knows for certain, but if it is true, It should give us some comfort that they don't pass away alone.
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Reply to cdm001
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I've never personally heard of that or seen that, but I hope that your mom is now under hospice care as her hospice nurse can answer any questions you may have about what stage your mom is in.
And it's my understanding that hearing is the last sense to go, so make sure that you are leaving nothing left unsaid with your mom.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Yes, my Aunt did this. She passed a few days later. May you receive peace in your heart during this time.
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