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Some dementia. Since she doesn't remember visitors (I see her almost every day) or calls, she thinks nobody is visiting or calling. She says she's lonely and all alone in her apartment. I'm not sure how to respond. I think this is her way of saying she wants to live with me or me live with her. I feel guilty about her not living with me, but I also want to have somewhat of a life. What do I say to her? Any suggestions about activities? Her sight is limited, but with a walker she can get around fairly well. She doesn't enjoy games or exercise. She does enjoy music, talks about dancing and likes cooking programs. She may be depressed. When I suggest activities, she's not interested or says she's done that before (80 years ago!). Any ideas? Thanks!

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It sounds like your guilt is driving more of this than your mom having real issues where she is. I'd say he's exactly where she needs to be and she can do different activities if she chooses, but she doesn't want to do that and she wouldn't remember it if she did. My 95-year old mom is the same way. She'd rather be in her room than playing cards or interacting with others. But my mom doesn't complain. I'd get her checked for depression (my mom's doc said to leave her alone when I did that) and then just chalk it up to her being where she needs to be and nothing in life is perfect.

The other way to look at it is you could have her dancing a jig every day and she wouldn't remember it. My mom is constantly saying she never gets candy, but I've got her swimming in it. She just doesn't remember. I think sometimes our parents' minds get caught in a loop and that loop, whatever it is, just plays and plays and doesn't have a strong basis in reality. So relax and know that you're doing the right thing and she's where she needs to be.
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gypsycaregiver, if you visit your Mom the same time everyday you won't see her interacting with others, some elders do this to make you feel sorry for them and for you to take them back to your own home.

From what I have read on the forums, if you pop in at a time when Mom least expects you, you could find her enjoying activities with others, and having a meals with other residents. It's a "got ya" moment :)

It would be interesting to see what happens.
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Yes, she sounds depressed. talk to her doctor about that. And talk to the social worker at the facility about getting her to more activities.
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