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As the spouse, I must communicate with everyone involved in my husband's care. The communication is rarely positive since he has dementia as well as chronic health issues. His condition is not improving, some days better than others, but usually there is a problem that demands my attention every day. Family members are concerned and I know they are asking out of concern, but it is so stressful to be asked almost daily "How is he?" or worse when they ask for details. How do I handle this delicately, without hurting anyone's feelings?

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I joined Caring Bridge and wrote updates when I had something to say. People often left comments in response to my postings. There was no need for lots of "how is he?" and I didn't have to deal with it much.

When I talk to my friend whose husband has stage 4 cancer, I ask how she is doing. If she has anything to tell me about her dying husband, she will.
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I would respond, he is the same, the situation will not improve. You know what would cheer me up is to hear how you are....change the subject to ask about their kids, future vacations....anything that is light conversation.
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I do what cwillie and Maggie said. I just say, "The same. She's not going to get any better," and leave it at that. I say it with a positive voice, but I really don't want to talk about my mother when I'm out. I know everyone here understands.
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That must be very difficult for you.
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I would try and tell one person each day and ask that they contact the other immediate family members because I just couldn't talk to each person. Some days I would answer no phone calls. Sometimes I would wait a few days and text 3 or 4 of my friends and just say I have been really busy and exhausted , mom is doing about the same and please keep her in your prayers . If you have children who come over, hand them your phone and ask that they take care of it for you. As others have said, you need to do what you want and what your husband needs. I think the majority of people will understand if you are not returning calls. God be with you through this journey.
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If they do text messages, this is a good way to respond and not be drawn into conversation. I'd be half tempted to use one of the above responses and add "and I'm quite tired and would love it if you could drop off a casserole."
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"Thank you SO much for asking. He's about the same. How are YOU doing?"

I sure sympathize.
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Casual acquaintances are always asking how my mom is, I usually tell them "About the same" or "A little older every day". If they want to imagine that means she is functioning as she was when they last saw her I really don't care, they are only inquiring to be polite anyway, if they bothered to visit they would see for themselves.
If these are close friends or family members be direct with them, they will understand. I like Windyridge's advice, tell them you don't feel up to discussing it further, you are taking it one day at a time. And feel free to screen your calls, if you have an answering machine/service you can always get back to them when it is more convenient.
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This is an interesting question. We all want to show our concern for friends and loved ones and we are so used to blurting out "How are they doing?". I've really never though about how tiring that can be for the caregiver in chief.

I do some hospice volunteering and have learned to ask only about today and not ask about any medical details. If patients want to tell me about meds , their condition, or procedures that's ok but usually they don't.

In addition to the good advice from Garden Artist I would suggest a more head on approach. Simply tell folks that it's a very difficult time for you, things are going about like one would expect , you're very tired, and you'd rather not talk about it further at this time. Express thanks for their concern and let them know you'll talk to them later. Also, if there is any info you want to share can you split up the contact list among other family and friends? I've gone through serious medical issues with my folks and I'm the only living child. It's exhausting when you have to answer every phone call and call everyone who's in the loop.
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You can take charge of the questioning and turn it around to suit your needs and time framework.

If you contact them all by e-mail, do so in a group mail (or smaller groups depending on the level of relationship and/or interest - i.e., friends vs. family vs. co-workers, etc.) and state that you want to keep them informed and will let them know if there are any changes. In the meantime, you're trying to spend as much time with your husband as possible.

Let them know how much you appreciate their care and concern and emphasize that if anything of consequence occurs, you'll contact them.

Add that you're attempting to manage so many aspects of life right now and need to focus on your husband's care, but sincerely appreciate their concern and support.

You can send out updates weekly or so, if writing nothing more than that the situation either hasn't changed or the changes aren't major.

I do know it's hard for people to remember that you're probably overburdened now and long conversations don't help you with the downtime you need.
This way they know that if there are changes, you'll let them know.

I've done this regularly in the past. The only long term problem is that people came to expect the updates and eventually never even called!
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