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She likes to have it done but it doesn't last.Mom has dementia and cannot fix her own hair at all. She still likes to look good, but this has really been an issue. I curl it for her once a week, or the on site beautician does, but it goes flat quickly because of being in bed a lot. Should I cut it short? Since she still cares about her appearance, I really don't know what to do. Any suggestions?

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As women know, when the hair looks good, we feel good. My mom just turned 90 goes to the beauty salon in the NH and gets her perms and haircuts. She has very little grey hair and still has healthy hair..
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Cutting it should be her decision. Her beautician could talk to her about the plusses and minuses.

Mother loved that she could go to have her hair done without leaving the building in her nursing home. It was important to her that her hair looked good, but she never really saw it. If I said to her, "Oh your hair looks especially nice today," she'd answer, "Well I don't know how it could. I haven't had it done in a long time!" (It was yesterday.) I'd say, "Hmm. Well I think maybe you did. Let's find a mirror." And then she would smile and say "I guess I must have had it done after all."

More important than the hair objectively looking good is the person thinking it looks good and being proud of it. We always commented on Mom's good hair, and so did others in the nh. That was very good for her!
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Hi. I understand your concern as the same was faced by my aunt. I found on the internet about Hair beauty supply online products from http://www.ehairwig.com/index.php/hair-care.html. You can try using these products. If this doesn't work, then you can cut her hair short so that she looks good in a new hair style.
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My sympathy. I have such a hassle with my own hair now that it has become gray and unmanageable. A ponytail and/or bun is very easy to handle and looks neat.
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My mom had beautiful thick wavy hair until the last few years. Her aid would shampoo it and use a jell and comb it back. When it dried it looked nice. She only had to brush each day. However, I noticed as it got thinner and fly away it looked so much better a little shorter. I noticed she seemed a little brighter when it was shorter. 97. My aunt wears hers in a bun and two pins will hold it as it is very thin. A pony tail then a twirl or two around her finger and pin it in place. It always looks neat. 89.
My MIL had a little wig she would wear when it was a " bad hair day". She was a beauty shop gal back in the day and very conscious of her hair. After the salon day she would wrap it in toilet paper and pen it with clips. She used a lot of spray. She would sleep on a satin pillow slip but when she got very old she did the short perm and it was good with just a shampoo.86. I have another aunt who has very straight hair and she just wears hers in a straight bob. 80. PD. So I think it depends on the type of hair and the ability to care for it Her hairdresser would probably know best. I have a 102 year old aunt ( bd yesterday) who wears hers like Lauren Bacall did back in the day. It's very white and full and a nice natural wave. She uses hot rollers once a week. We should all be so lucky.
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My mom went for a wash and set every week and the occasional perm for as long as I can remember, it was her little indulgence. Now that she no longer leaves the house I still sometimes put in rollers, but I was surprised at how nice her hair looks with just a wash and blow dry. I don't think you necessarily need to buzz her hair in an institutional cut, ask the stylist what she would recommend for her.
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My mom isn't in bed and has cognitive decline. I set her hair and she combs it out. I get her a perm (we're getting one on Thursday). I keep it short and I set it once a week when I shower her. I have a big sign on her curler basket to "comb the back of your hair!" because she forgets to do that. She only combs what she can see. :) Hairspray also helps hold it in place, along with mousse. Does she look great most of the time? Nope, but it satisfies her and if she's happy, I'm happy. She's in her room 95% of the time, in her jammies, so not a big deal.
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I have actually got Mum to grow hers and now she can get it into a bun which takes all of about 3 minutes to do just brush it into a ponytail and hold in place with a band slip over a bun ring fold hair over and secure with second band - it looks good and stays well.

Failing that perhaps as GA suggests cut it a little shorter and get it permed but if she is on heavy meds it may not take as well - or take too well!
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Can she have a permanent? That would be the easiest way to provide nice looking hair w/o any fuss.
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