My Mother has had a hard life, meaning my Dad was violent and they divorced, she was never able to support us or support herself so she went from man to man. At any rate, she found a wonderful husband, her senior, and they lived happily for 33 years together. After he past, I stay with her a while, then she purchased the house next door because we thought it would be wise as she gets older. Not wise at all as it's seem to create problems for me. I helped her move, set up all her bills on auto pay except for a couple of credit cards. I handle her medicine orders. I thought doing this would help her since she has no knowledge of how to handle any business. She was always a homemaker and only had to cook and clean. Never learned about those things. I did all this to keep her from being overwhelmed so she could just live her life and be happy.
Well, that's not the case. She's lonely, she calls a lot, and is always asking about something. She'll just call to ask what I'm doing. Plus she wants to 'see' me all the time. I figure I see her enough as I take out the trash once a week, clean her yard, fix anything on the house that needs fixing, and drive her everywhere. I go to the doctor with her and some days we're together six or more hours. But it's never enough and I feel trapped. Like I don't have a life anymore.
Might I add I have many chronic illnesses myself and being an only child there's no one else. Her siblings that live in the area only come by every so often or call. The thing is this. She wants us to go and do Mother and daughter things together, or she just wants to see me everyday. I have to call at least once a day. I feel guilty. I do things for her and then don't do my stuff because of my illnesses. It's wearing on me badly. I feel like I'm 24/7. I am thankful she has her own home because I don't think I can stand being there in the same house. She can't make decisions and when trying to have a reasonable conversation, she's out of the ball park and it's frustrating to try and even make her understand. We have nothing in common. She likes cooking, crochet, quilts, etc., and I don't have time to do those kinds of things. Any advise on how to handle this? Thanks.