Mom has Alzheimer's and is now easier to take care of than my Dad. Dad showing signs of dementia and very difficult. 3 yrs ago Dad had congestive heart failure in addition to other medical conditions he has (diabetes, glaucoma, high blood pressure....) almost on death bed but survived. Was declared incompetent before released from hospital. Now 3 yrs later he has started showing more signs of dementia; age-related or ??? Very very stubborn, proud and wants to 'stay in control' of everything and everyone...I had become the DPOA for both of them but Dad has been making some very important decisions without my knowledge; financial, medical and other kinds of decisions that aren't good to say the least. He has always been selfish and thinks of himself as some kind of 'God' but is getting worse. I realize it's 'all he has left' he thinks, is bored and afraid for his future...I'm aware of all of this and try to work with it all while still trying to maintain his independence as much as possible. I do not hover over them in no way; I watch over them like a hawk and they don't realize it. Now Dad is trying to not let me know when things go wrong, or if he or Mom isn't feeling good...I've tried talking calmly with him about it but he is fighting aging every dang step of the way. Is very frustrating for me, but I know is more scary for him. I don't get mad at him, but the consequences of his decisions with out my knowledge will be devastating. What can someone suggest ??? I have thought about having someone come in once/twice a week, but the bad thing with that is then my Dad will be on his 'best' behaviour', and Mom will take advantage of having someone there to listen to all of her aches/pains that are part of her medical problems. She loves medicines, lab tests, dr appts, other medical tests and could be endless if she gets someone medical in the house...and then all sorts of unnecessary bills with transpire !!! I have thought of assisted living in the near future but I can't even imagine the fight my Dad will put up !!! Mom will go along with it, I'm pretty sure. I take them all over to their dr appts, to eat out, car rides, on weekend casino getaways (with me close by), etc so they do get out often. My brother takes them to grocery stores and Walgreens, and to hardware stores also. My Dad also has depression/anxiety and meds somewhat help it. Dad is now harboring alot of cash in his house and I can't get him to put it in a safe deposit box or in a locked safe that I have in my house...He has been forgetting to take his meds on a timely basis...I am just getting at my wits end with him...all I'm trying to do is take care of them, trying to maintain their independence but these things are threatening it...I have quit my job to take care of both them, and anytime they need help or want to just talk, I am there for them. I always tell them I am just a phone call away....my family understands but sometimes I have to do things for my own family that my Dad has to wait for something (that's not important and can wait an extra day) ....I do make sure I take care of myself but it seems as if I have to let them know that I have to take care of 'me' also...it's not often but just the usual things like my own dr appts, or my son's football/basketball game or my husband coming home (OTR truck driver)...my Dad acts like any extra time should be given to him...what helpful suggestions would anyone have ???