Grandma1954... forgot to add this tidbit You also need to make sure that he is wiping himself well and properly. You might be surprised that he may be needing help with this task.
Grandma1954 July 29, 2023 4:05 pm Short answer... It is time for you to monitor bathroom time. Not just toileting but handwashing, showering, brushing teeth and all the rest that goes on behind what are normally closed doors. You can do it in such a way that you are not "hovering" but there to "fix your hair", "tweeze out the hair on your chin", "grab a tooth flosser", "get that lotion for your arthritic elbow" "grab the towels for the washer" The key is...leave an empty roll of tp so you have to hand him some. After a while it he will become used to you in the bathroom.
Don't allow him to use any toilets in your house. Instead put a bedside commode next to wherever he is. When he's in the living room, put it next to his chair. When he's in bed put it right next to his bed, and so on. I had to use a bedside commode for my late husband when he became completely bedridden, and I would put about 6-8 inches of water in it and then spray some Poo-Pourri in the water. That works great to keep the room from smelling bad. And then YOU just dump it in the toilet and clean out the basin. Much easier than cleaning up a mess off the bathroom floor every day.
You can keep the bathroom door locked, or you can unhook the chain in the tank so it won't flush. And when he does use the toilet he needs someone to be there to hand him the TP and to make sure he's getting everything cleaned satisfactorily. A lot of people discovered the toilet seat bidet when there were shortages of TP, that's another option.
forgot to add this tidbit
You also need to make sure that he is wiping himself well and properly.
You might be surprised that he may be needing help with this task.
Short answer...
It is time for you to monitor bathroom time.
Not just toileting but handwashing, showering, brushing teeth and all the rest that goes on behind what are normally closed doors.
You can do it in such a way that you are not "hovering" but there to "fix your hair", "tweeze out the hair on your chin", "grab a tooth flosser", "get that lotion for your arthritic elbow" "grab the towels for the washer"
The key is...leave an empty roll of tp so you have to hand him some.
After a while it he will become used to you in the bathroom.
OP, your DH doesn’t remember how to use the toilet properly.
My friend hired a caregiver. Now the mom always gets help in the bathroom. No more mess.
I had to use a bedside commode for my late husband when he became completely bedridden, and I would put about 6-8 inches of water in it and then spray some Poo-Pourri in the water. That works great to keep the room from smelling bad.
And then YOU just dump it in the toilet and clean out the basin. Much easier than cleaning up a mess off the bathroom floor every day.
A lot of people discovered the toilet seat bidet when there were shortages of TP, that's another option.