Broke her ankle had surgery it healed wrong so she has to wear special shoes she hates. Spent 5 months in skilled nursing facility and kaiser stopped paying. Been home 4 days fell once, she can't walk IF she wore the shoes has bad hip and doesn't want more surgery. She hates the in home care but I haven't been able to stay in my own house for 6 nights! Now she says she'd rather have hip surgery than have 'stranger's in her home and 'how would you like it?'
She doesn't want to go to Assisted Living but she's cripple! And dementia on top of it all. I can't move her with me I have tons of pets and I can't even fit her chair in my bathroom - before this ankle thing happened I was already spending every other night at her house having wine on patio, dinner, going out to lunch etc (24 hrs her place 24 hrs mine) but then she could at least walk! She expects me to do this daily now I think, so she doesn't have to deal w 'stranger's. Sister blew us off ten yrs ago.
you will probably not be able to make her see the common sense in this.
All i I can suggest is that you present it to her as a matter of fact, and proceed to find a placement for her as quickly as you can.
How are you supporting yourself?
What mom wants is nice, but she does seem to waffle a bit, doesn't she? What do her doctors say she needs in terms of care? With a dx of dementia, she really can't be left alone. So either she pays for 24/7 care or she goes into Assisted Living.
It's not you doing this to her, it's the disease. It's not YOUR responsibility to ruin your life to care for her.