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I am 75 years "young". For the moment I have "decent" health. Won't be that forever of course. My dilemma is when I will get sick and won't be able to do much of anything like making arrangements, paying bills, and on and on. What am I to do? Not crazy about "strangers" like home health aides taking care of me. YUK!!. Not crazy about rehabilitation locations. Not crazy about going to assisted living facilities. Oh My. What the heck do I do? I definitely am a victim of unwanted circumstances for sure. But it is what it is. I think my biggest challenge is distrust of many folks. Can't ask friends because they have their own health challenges and have family themselves to take care of.

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Look into geriatric care managers. They can manage everything for you. The downside is that it costs money.

Also, many people thrust their care onto family members who never wanted the responsibility or misery or hands-on caregiving. Take heart that you won't be one of those to impose on someone else!

Look around at the some of the continuum of care places near you. You check in while still independent, then bump up to the next level of care as you need it. You get to know the caregivers and staff over a long period of time. Then they are no longer "strangers" but a family that cares about you. Plus the activities are fun!
My mom wasn't much of a socializer but she was in a great assisted living and enjoyed it.
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Reply to Fawnby
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How young?
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Reply to Pepzoe
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Neverage4ever Jun 12, 2025
As my post and first sentence state I am 75 years young.
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You will eventually choose one of the three as the lesser of 2 evils until you need full time care. You can contact your local APS for a list of resources. At least get in writing who can be your spokesperson.
You might look for a professional from aginglifecare.org to help with planning.
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Reply to MACinCT
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Old age doesn't make us "crazy about" most of our options, but Assisted Living is like a hotel with caregivers available 24/7, 3 meals a day, and lots of activities to keep you busy. I'd take that option in a heartbeat if I had the funds to do so, and never expect my children or family members to be saddled with my care in old age. They deserve their own lives.
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freqflyer Jul 2, 2025
That's my plan for the future if it is needed. My Dad was in Independent Living and later in Memory Care, and he was quite happy with everything. He felt like he was living in a hotel suite :)
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But you could "discuss" this with friends, right?
You know the options already.
I think you aren't alone, at all.
The answer of course, is money when it comes down to all of this. If you can afford good care it can be "bought", but when you fear that your mental faculties won't remain strong enough to ensure your safety that adds a whole other level.
And that's what aging is all about.

I would discuss with your banker what exists through them in terms of Licensed Financial Fiduciaries. An Elder Law attorney will have lists of them as well. That at least will be a level of care when you can't manage your own, BUT it does require trust, and that is difficult.

I think that Europe is so much more wise than we are in having places like Dignitas and Pegasos to go to when really, it is over. We are done. Exhausted with it all and without anyone who wants to/or indeed SHOULD HAVE TO take over the care as we SLOWLY sink into the sunset. It gives a level of control we in the USA don't have easy access to. It provides choice.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Look into Long Term Care Insurance:
https://www.nylaarp.com/LongTermCare?tntph=PPCLTC9053&cid=5R1F9N&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=13188847337&gbraid=0AAAAADf6KRLjwoIYQLT7pkS_NOWtE5oAJ&gclid=CjwKCAjwr5_CBhBlEiwAzfwYuF3qjM78XnJ_WAegIrlCtpmShnbZ1w8VPLkHKmnIGQBqJ_joTwZGcxoC9LcQAvD_BwE
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Reply to Ohwow323
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JoAnn29 Jun 10, 2025
Her age is against her. Her premiums would be sky high. This type of insurance you get when your younger.
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