What to do when you have a toxic sister who turns your kids against you?

Just read your reply to me. So sorry about ur girls.

I decided to change my cell phone number. I hope that helps.

I would think 20 year olds would know how their Aunt is. My girls,bat that age, were very aware of how their passive-aggressive Grandmother was. Maybe Dad should have a talk with your kids.

No I live alone. My children are in their 20’s & know better. So that is on them. Like I said she doesn’t have my mom to hide behind any more. And my dad won’t deal with any of it. I will go no contact for good. She doesn’t have any friends at all. Or a job. Nothing. Cause she is nothing. My life will go on . That woman needs Jesus!

If you are living with Dad, your children, and sister, this will be quite the challenge. How old are your children, and are they living with you?

My advice was going to be to let you know how distance and going 'no contact' can work, and give you peace.

After one year of no contact with a highly toxic person, a family member came to say to me: "She said this about you".
I was able to say that, "After a year of not ever talking to her, how would she know?". The gossip no longer held any power.

If she's turning your children against you, you stop allowing her to contact them.   Now.

I think toxic people tend to not change because lack of awareness that they have any issue is part of the overall dysfunction. It is usually difficult or even unlikely to reconcile in ways that are healthy and mutually beneficial. The option we are left with usually means we back away from them, do not interact, no answering calls or messages, and start making plans without that person being part of it. You care for your dad on your terms alone, and no coordinating with your sibling. This might not be what you wanted to hear, but the old saying about not being able to change others is true. However, you do get to decide how much of her dysfunction you allow in your life.

There is nothing whatsoever that you can do with/for/about someone toxic, other than to keep your distance. Stay away from her. Do not speak about her. Do not allow others to speak to you about her. The end.