My siblings call my mother once in awhile to check on her with a very brief phone call. Rarely visit her.
She will talk about issues, then they criticize me for not doing things the right way. They have no clue that my mother doesn’t always do what she is supposed to, she only tells them of mishaps that occur afterward and I get blamed. My mother will not defend me to them.
She is so happy to hear from them and it’s the old, keep the peace story. I understand that she misses them but I feel hurt that she allows them to speak badly about me, her daughter who does everything for her. My siblings do not know her daily routine.
So hurtful to me. Her doctors have all told me that I do a wonderful job in caring the best I can for her. My siblings have no contact with nurses or doctors due to I am the one who accompanies her to doctor appointments and emergency hospital visits. Very frustrating to me. My siblings never ask me how I am doing. It would mean the world to me just to have them ask how I feel. I feel pushed aside, forgotten about.
I have always been the closest to my parents. My dad died several years ago and only asked me to care for mom. I think he knew I was the responsible one. The one he could rely on. I took care of him too.
I always wanted to be just as close to my siblings but they lived their own lives without wanting a close relationship to me. They came to holiday dinners though. Not to brag but I’m a great cook.
By the way, I always babysat their children too. When my children were born they had limited contact with them, same as they only had limited contact with my parents and me. They always found the time to do whatever they wanted to do, hang out with their friends, etc. Family was never a priority to them.
If others have suggestions about how to handle siblings, please let me know. I always thought loved ones should pull together in hard times but they continue to ignore me.
Thanks for listening. It helps to have a shoulder to lean on.