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I have been taking care of my mother by myself for 18 years. I have a younger sister who has medical problems and helps as much as she can. I have another sister who comes to the house trying to throw her weight around and tell everybody how they should do everything. Until recently she visited my mother less than once a month, but still tries to run the show. Recently my mother was admitted to hospice for dementia. My sister's coming more often, but causes problem many times when she comes. She has no respect for me for my stuff, and thanks because it's my mother's house she can do what she wants. I am the medical power of attorney and have threatened to call the police on her. I also have a brother who controls the money and recently took my mother's check. He paid some of the utilities and says I have to pay them because I live here. They also give me cards for groceries and told me that if I want the money back for meds give him the receipts and he will pay for it. I was recently diagnosed with 4th stage cancer myself. I have to work to make money, and I have to pay out of my pocket to have somebody watch my mother when I'm not here. How can I stop my family from trying to do everything because they won't help all I want to do is put her in a home. My mother wants to be in the home that my father built in 1952. I'm trying to give her that wish. My mother can no longer walk but she can stand Kama so I have to transfer her from Walker to chair it cetera. Can I get a restraining order against my sister if this continues. Thank you

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Eyerishlass, just for your understanding, one can continue to take drugs while on hospice. Just not curative or life-prolonging drugs. My husband continued the drugs he was taking for sleep problems and anxiety, for example. We tried without them but added them back in when we saw the results. Comfort care can include drugs that contribute to your comfort!
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gonicguy, glad to see you won in court. Siblings are probably experiencing a LOT of anxiety knowing Hospice is in the picture. My husband and son were very bitter about me signing the Hospice papers for my daughter. As the end got closer, we were all snapping at each other. The night she died son got himself totally drunk and was out cold when she passed on. You can get anxiety meds for yourself, it helps. The siblings need some too. I'm guessing they will deny that.
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My brother and sister feel she should be in a nursing home. They put her in one 4 years ago behind my back and I managed to take her out. Since then I have got nothing but grief from them. Their response to helping out is if you want to take care of her then you take care of her and you can do it on your own. My dad built our house in 1952 and my mom wants to stay here as long as possible. She is getting good care, and I get some help from Home Makers. My brother tried to get guardianship last year, but the court wouldn't do it because they feel she was getting good care and didn't need any changes.
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I don't think you can get a restraining order against your sister because she bugs you and is disrespectful.

Just a few questions for clarification:

You said you've been caring for your mom for 18 years. What's changed? Why are your siblings causing you problems now? Is it because your mom is on hospice? And she's still taking meds while on hospice?

You shouldn't be paying for in-home help for your mom. Why isn't your mom's money going towards in-home care?

Who's going to be taking care of your mom while you take care of your own health?
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