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and your the main one caring for your loved one? I read another thread on here that someone was sick, all they could do is push through helping their loved one and if time given, they rest.


So, I slipped on water last week and was soooo sore, but pushed myself through it. It wasn't easy, and I had to lift the wheelchair in and out of the car those days too. Yesterday my right calf ( in front) starting hurting every time I walked or moved and today yikes, worse!!! I guess I pulled a muscle somehow, I just need to rest but can't.( Grandfather is not feeling well himself, neither is my dad. )


So, I read all the treatments online, heat,rest (lol), anti - inflammatory meds. Any other tips or home remedies to heel faster?


Thanks in advance!


I hope your Sunday is a nice one :)

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freqflyer, so true!

JMMiller49, I hope you and your husband are doing better today :) Your right, we do the best we can!
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I took a fall last winter and hurt my shoulder and back. My husband has been.in.hospital most of that time. We have no one to stand in for us so we just do what we have to do. If you can , have a friend or family member it is wonderful to take the tine to heal. If not , as is our case, you have to just do the best you can.
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Me100, whenever I nor my S/O can't drive my parents because of a physical aliment and my parents wonder who will drive them..... it's a great opening for me to say "You wouldn't have that worry if you had moved to that great retirement village just down the road... they offer free transportation."
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wolflover451- I know, your right, I should go to the Dr, Im past due for a regular checkup too. I will give them a call, but of course my grandfather refuses ANYONE else without his approval.

freqflyer- ha, I love the way you put that! So true isnt it? What do you say to them when they ask that?

pipruby- Sounds like a plan and Im glad it works out for you and your dad. Im also glad the RICE helps you.

Carebill- thanks, its a good idea but he wouldn't go. Sounds like a great backup plan ! He does get a nurse in once a week, but I will see about a little longer.

pamstegman- I will check anyway, I should have all these numbers on hand for any future help needed!

twotonne- You have also been through a lot and Im glad you were able to receive all the help you did and are still receiving. I have talked with our VA here, and many programs are on the "wait list" because of volunteer shortage or funding, but I didn't know they had people to come out and help a little. I will check into it.


You all have helped thank you sooo much!!!! :) Hopefully you all are doing well!!!
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Theboss- Im so sorry your going through so much. Hopefully you are able to have more care now for your husband and rest for you. I hope your doing better now :) Good luck to you as well

GardenArtist- Thank you, I will pick some up the next time I go out, sounds yummy too! Im glad they helped you! The way my family is, no matter how anyone feels, appt must be kept and life goes on.

Linda22- Interesting and I will try it! Im glad you have your Arthritis under control!
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I have been hospitalized 3 different times for 2 days each time. I've been on crutches for 4 months and getting PT for walking and for a shoulder injured from lifting. That is besides the aches from pulled muscles, the flu, a really bad asthma attack and a couple of bad falls (the broken leg and a pinched nerve) in the 11 years my husband has had dementia. Yes, I have generally just pushed through it but I got help when I really needed it.
You need to get on the phone or have a family meeting to see who would be willing to step up to the plate for a week or two when you are incapacitated. I made sure that my daughter and two teenage grandsons knew how to transfer my husband into and out of a bed, chair, car when they volunteered. You need to check with agencies to find out the cost and payment arrangements if you would need them. Then, check with your local area agency on aging, your church, civic groups, etc. to find out what is available for free or low cost in your area. I have used a combination of our daughter in the evening, an agency caregiver or grandson during the day and a couple of volunteers from a local group who usually just visit people in nursing homes. I hired a lady from our church to come in once a week to clean and get groceries. I finally got smart and signed my husband up with the local VA clinic and we now have a Personal Care Attendant 6 days a week for 2 hours to bathe him, feed him one meal and do some light housekeeping. I also get a certain amount of respite care from the VA. Check around, there is something in your area if you just look and ask for it.
If you are hospitalized and have nothing arranged, the hospital social worker maybe able to help out. One of our hospitals keeps a list of employees (CNA, LPN, RN) who do private duty on the side for less than the agencies usually charge. Hope this helps you.
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Carebill, you are correct. Turns out Bassett Park in Williamsville NY will take a senior on short notice if you are sick or even if your power went out. Me1000, call around your area and see if facilities near you do this.
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Look on the Internet for resources in your area. There may be places that will take an elderly patient for a few days while you recuperate, or perhaps you could get a visiting nurse to help out for a couple of hours if his medicare will cover it, or he can pay for it.
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I love Arnica. Lots of water, with lemon juice. Rest and elevate. Don't go out and about if you are not well. I also keep a couple frozen dinners on hand for Dad in case I am under the weather. He is generally sitting in his chair watching tv with his wireless headphones. I use the heated rice packs on muscle cramp sorts of pains (from old whiplash, tender knee, aching back) Ice and elevate on new twisted ankles etc. (RICE: rest, ice, compression, elevate + arnica) Also talk with his MD and insurance about emergency coverage with in home help if you are going to be laid up for a longer stretch.
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Anytime something physical happens to me or my significant other my parents are like deer in headlights.... OMG what will we do if you can't drive???..... who will get our groceries???... who will take us to the doctors???
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my suggestion would be: make yourself an appt to make sure you don't have any major damage (what good are you going to be IF you get even worse). Then I would contact your office of aging in your area, explain the situation and find out IF "someone" could come and take care of your parent or whomever until you get back from doctor.
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You can make one of those fancy heat/cold packs by filling a clean sock with plain white rice. Warm in microwave or keep in freezer. GA is on target with the food anti-inflammatories - my arthritis in my hands is under control when I eat these foods and avoid dairy (my personal trigger). Seldom need meds when I behave.
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Me1000, when you're at the store getting quinine water, get some red grapes, red plums and blueberries (but not if they're from South America). Red fruits and vegetables are high in anti-inflammatory agents.

My aunt ate more cherries to reduce inflammation. I found that raspberries, grapes and blueberries helped me; even just 1/2 cup at lunch and another at dinner helped reduce inflammation. Celery also has Cox-2 inhibitors and has helped me combat inflammation.

Anti-inflammatory foods may not act as fast as anti-inflammatory meds but they're far safer and won't leave you feeling drowsy.

Don't forget to elevate your injured leg to help reduce inflammation.

Since both Dad and GF aren't feeling well, put on some relaxing, soothing music and all of you can chill out while recuperating.


Another approach is zero-based activity. Of all the things that you feel need to be done today, how many of them are absolutely necessary? Administering meds and eating is two; bathroom issues is a third. Cleaning, laundry and similar activities can be put off.

There's far too much emphasis on things that allegedly need to be done but which really can be done at leisure.

For future emergencies:

Consider getting Meals on Wheels for Dad and GF; make extras when you cook and freeze in one-person portions so you can just heat when you're not able to cook.

Are there any neighbors, church members, friends and/or relatives who could pitch in just to pick up emergency supplies when needed? If so, speak with them when you're feeling better and make contingency arrangements.

If you feel uncomfortable about asking for help, as I do, think what you might be able to do for them - perhaps bake or cook extra and take it to them when you are feeling better.

Reschedule any medical appointments that don't absolutely need to be accomplished this week.

It is really hard to put together a back-up plan if it depends on others' participation, but there must be someone who can help so you can get the rest you need.
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This is a big problem. Especially when the caregiver is older and more prone to needing medical care. It would be best if the patient could be placed before they become so compromised that they do not understand what is happening to them and become frightened, agitated and combative. Once that happens it becomes very difficult to get help. My own experience as an 80 year old caregiver, caring for an older partner who has no living family to help, I've had great difficulty finding a place to keep him while I was hospitalized twice last year. I finally got documentation of his condition from a neuro-psych doctor that hopefully will help in finding the right placement for him in the future. He has been kicked out of two nursing homes for being combative and unmanageable, but at home he is fine. In home care giving is the best solution, but not always that easy to arrange. Good Luck
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pamstegman- I'm getting some today !

Juddhabuddha- I looked at the Timebank website and it is a great idea! I will also try those home remedies.

Melaine7- Your right, I do need to convince him to have a back up. He is so stubborn and is worried about paying someone ( and admitting he needs help). I will do that anyways though!

wannek- I wish I could do it it all ! Your right, we are only human :)

alwayslearning - I like the way you put that, I agree and also think we should be more helpful to others. I love helping others, even if I dont have much to offer, if its just getting water, food something! I will talk to him again


Thank you all!!!!! :)
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In our culture there's an assumption that there should be one Significant Other or one Adult Child who not only is the primary caregiver but often is the only caregiver. That's all it is -- an assumption. And it's actually contrary to human biology. We're supposed to be living in groups: communities, tribes. Care should be provided by a patchwork quilt of people, sharing it out. FIND MORE HELP. And think of it this way: it's not more help for you. It's more help for your loved one.
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Great answer Melanie. I agree we want to do it all but we are human and must be well to do it.
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Dear me1000, everyone gets sick or hurt once and a while. So firstly, don't feel badly about that. No on is 100% all of the time! Secondly, I am a firm believer in being prepared. Before the next time happens, come up with an alternate caregiver. Explain to your loved one that if it becomes necessary, you may have to hand over their care to someone else TEMPORARILY. (assuming they can understand and remember that when the time comes.) Thirdly, introduce you parent to the alternate before it becomes necessary to utilize their services. Your parent may not like it, but it may become necessary from time to time. It is not a reflection on how much you care for your parent, but rather the exact opposite. You care a great deal or you would not have prearranged this coverage. Coverage that will allow you to return to being the caregiver as soon as possible and feeling better. You parent or loved one may not be happy about it if you temporarily have to leave for health reasons but that is actually a compliment in a way. . . Obviously, you are the best at what YOU do and YOU make it possible for them to live in their home! Taking care of yourself is a must when taking care of others so do everything you can to stay healthy and safe!
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Google online herbs and foods for healing. There are tons of great info at your fingertips in seconds.
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Homeopathic remedies are inexpensive and often work well. They do not interfere with drugs either. Try Arnica gel or tabs for muslce soreness. Ice packs help on new injuries and later heat on stiffness.

Investigate timebanks.org to find helpers for all kinds of things. Join a timebank, make friends, and exchange a little of your talents for what you need: might be a message. They are all over the country.
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Drink tonic water. The quinine is very anti-inflammatory
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