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Is your father at home or in a care facility?
If he is still at home the tried and true way to keep those good caregivers coming, is to make it worth their while. A cash bonus every week. The gratitude and appreciation of kind people like you doesn't go unnoticed by us. Adding a box of chocolates or a gift card along with it is a nice gesture. It really isn't incentive enough to keep a good, hard-working caregiver who's keeping a handle on things coming with a client like your father. Trust me when I say green is everyone's favorite color. Sometimes a homecare isn't an option anymore and the client needs facility placement.
If he's in a care facility, they don't allow families to take care of the help on the side in cash. You can make a discreet arrangement to slip his regulars some cash in other ways though. Like "hiring" them to do some work after-hours away from the facility. Which is code for meet them for coffee with a few hundred dollars in an envelope from time to time. Such gratitude and appreciation like this will never be forgotten by any caregiver.
You may also want to have a meeting with the in-house doctor if your father's behavior is getting worse. He may need to be in a different level of care too.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to BurntCaregiver

I am assuming that the "meanness" is just him, not some new thing that could indicate progression of disease, need for assessment or checking to UTI.
That said, acknowledgement can go a whole long way. Box of candy, gift card to store, box of donuts can go a long way with a card acknowledging you understand how difficult he is to deal with and you are amazed at their love and patience, that you don't know what you would do without them. This is something they can CARRY with them when they are job hunting in future, something that shows they are special and you recognize that. I would rather have had that than another hours of pay by a long shot when I was a nurse.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to AlvaDeer

Is the anger a recent occurrence?
If every thing checks out medically you can ask the doctor about antianxiety medications that might help.
Is there a particular reason he gets angry?
Anger is common with some forms of dementia.
But anger can also be due to not understanding what is happening. (Frustration can lead to anger)
Is the anger happening at a particular time or activity?
Are the caregivers explaining what they are doing?
Most caregivers that deal with dementia have been trained and should understand this aspect of the disease.
On the other hand if the anger leads to violence that is different and that needs to be watched.
Try to observe when the anger occurs and see if you can figure out the why of it.
They should be talking to your husband in a calm soothing manner and explaining what they are doing or what he needs to do while they are helping him. And if they can lower the pitch of the voice it might also be easier for him to understand. Higher pitch is the first to be lost when the hearing starts to go.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Grandma1954

You need to give more info. What type of Dementia does he suffer from? What happens that he gets angry? Does he hit?
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Reply to JoAnn29

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