She can't make it to the bathroom and we clean the carpet once a week. Bought her an alarm necklace but refuses to wear it. Have apartment cleaned 2x's week. She fell in the shower, no necklace on of course, shower leaked into hallway that's how they discovered her. Fire department came, took 1hr to lift her into chair, she's 5'1'' weighs 300lbs. They asked my brother is this how you take care of your mother? She had boxes piled on her stove, fire hazard, garbage all over on the floor. She just tosses them and will walk over them. Bowels all over the place and flies so thick. Later discovered they were sewer flies from shower drain because of her going to the bathroom to shower and use to get urine and bowels off. She'll cancel the cleaning lady from senior alliance if she doesn't feel like getting up. What should we do???

If you or siblings are not her legal PoA and she won't sign the documents to create a legal PoA then there is nothing to do but to call APS and report her as a vulnerable adult. From your description she is a candidate for MC, not AL. They will eventually remove her to a facility and become her legal guardian. They will take over all her medical and financial management and she will be in a safe, clean environment and you can visit her whenever you wish. If doesn't have the financial means she will qualify for Medicaid.

Has she ever been checked for a UTI? Those are very common in elderly women and can cause symptoms like confusion, behavior changes and cognitive problems but an be cleared up with antibiotics.
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Reply to Geaton777

Wow. I can imagine how stressful this for you and what a terrible environment for your mother to live in. You didn’t mention your financial situation but based on your description on the environment she is voluntarily living in would lead to recommending assisted living or possibly memory care. Again, depending on financial ability perhaps medicaid. You can’t continue to do all this cleanup when it is obvious it isn’t appreciated as she seems to voluntarily make your work and expenditures harder than they need to be. Also health considerations for both you and your Mom. Get some help, the sooner the better. Sorry about your situation...
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Reply to LonelyDespair

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