Follow
Share

I have type 1 diabetes and lupus also severe PTSD from years of physical abuse. I want to take care of him but there are days when I myself can’t move due to the lupus and the stress is keeping my sugar in the 400’s. When he gets mad and goes into a rage he wants to hurt the caregivers which is me and my husband. Spine collapsed and just had surgery for twisted small intestine that they say will take a year to recover from. We have taken him to senior care at the hospital several times for violent behavior. He wanted to shoot us but we had removed the guns from the house and so he tried to grab scissors that someone dropped from their purse and tried to stab my husband. They keep telling us that he has to come home with us that they can’t find placement. We are the legal guardians for him. I just don’t know what to do anymore. We don’t feel safe in our own home. However we want the best for him. Please help.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Get your attorney to appeal to the courts to have a public guardian. Take him off your hands permanently. You are unable to control him, yet that is your legal duty. Get that changed, legally.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

We are in our home with him. We told the staff and the psych nurse he even told them that he was going to kill us. But when he get held for psych evaluation he no longer remembers why he is there and is fine. We have called 911 4 times and they come out and tell us there is nothing they can do. So they leave us to deal with it. He told two deputies that he was going to shoot us in the head. Then they asked if there were guns in the house and we thankfully had removed them so they said there was no danger. We told the hospital that we could not handle him and we were scared that he would do something and they said if we did not come get him they would call dhr for abandonment and we would be in legal trouble. We brought him home and tried to do everything to make him happy but he has delusions with it and then he rages. Now they said that he will be discharged for home health to come out and to call them. They have him on antipsychotics for the delusion but said that it may never go away. We have a lawyer and he is shocked at what is happening and said he has never hear of a hospital taking a stance like that and said they were dumping him is what the hospital was doing. All we want is him to be safe and taken care of and us safe as well.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

"They keep telling us that he has to come home with us that they can’t find placement."

Are you living in his house, or he in yours? Perhaps you cannot legally refuse to let him go back to his own home. If you are his court-appointed guardian, you are not responsible for hands-on care, but you are responsible to see that he gets appropriate care. I know that is what you are trying to do, via the hospital. On any of these visits has FIL been held for a few days for mental health evaluation?

Like most (all?) states, Alabama has provisions to commit someone against their will, for psychiatric evaluation. There are strict guidelines in place -- you can't just call and ask that your hairdresser be committed because she gave you a crazy hairdo. But your situation is exactly what this provision is for. Someone is a danger to themselves or others and will not cooperate with evaluation. This procedure is usually referred to as the Baker Act.

Call your Area Agency on Aging. Explain that you need to have someone Baker Acted, and why. Ask how you can get some help with that.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

It sounds like you need to involve law enforcement, I know how hard that will be but, he is a real danger to you and your husband.

Next time he rages, call 911, do not go to the hospital, tell them under no uncertain terms that he can not come back to your home, get the name and position of the person you are speaking with, keeps notes on the call and stick to your guns "NO, HE CAN NOT COME BACK TO MY HOUSE, PERIOD!" I would even tell law enforcement when they arrive that he needs to go and can not come back. Hospital will try to guilt you, bully and push to get you to take him. Don't fall for any of it, NO, they will have to keep him or place him, and I have seen that they are so understaffed that they will do anything to not have to deal with this part of their job. God give you strength to hold strong and get him in a facility that will meet his needs and keep everyone safe. I pray you and your husband have relief from your body trials. HUGS 2 u!
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Did you tell them that he is a danger to you? They need to hear from you that he wanted to shoot you two and took scissors and tried to stab your husband. Such a person needs to be committed for psychological evaluation. Unless they are willing to be liable for your injury or deaths, they need to find him somewhere else to go.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.