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I have not discovered a POA for finances or healthcare. However, after seeing my remaining parent’s records, I see where sister may be preparing to obtain guardianship/conservership. And if she does petition the courts, I will not be notified (guaranteed). Besides trying to keep me out of remaining parent’s life as they attempted with mom, there is no reason to seek this position. I considered it at one time after Adult Protection did nothing to help either parent but especially mother who constantly had injuries, then sepsis, then a wound requiring debridement, and more that I’ll not list. Thank God she is resting now and out of pain. They’ve started with dad by benching him suddenly and now trying to have him declared crazy and heavy medicated. I was trying to take the approach many of you suggested of just visiting or leaving and never looking back. I was not able to do the latter and tried very hard not to get too involved with the care. Yes, that was also hard. But now learning of this has me tossing all over again when I have not even made peace with how mother was treated

Thanks Countrymouse. You've confirmed what an attorney stated. So now I watch and wait to see if anything materializes from the letter written by my father's doctor.
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[The proposed guardian must notify all of the required people of the guardianship proceedings; the court does not notify them for you.]

That's the information I see for a person who is going to go at this without an attorney.

Is that not an accurate statement?

I'm totally confused on this statement from reading online.
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Countrymouse Nov 23, 2020
The court is not going to do the donkey work involved, but the question certainly will be asked: "who has been notified of this application?"

I dare say you as an applicant might be able to get away with claiming there was no need to notify anyone, but judges have generally not been born yesterday. Leave out anyone obvious, such as a spouse or child, and the court will want a dam' good reason for it.
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Thanks all of you! I will take comfort in your knowledge and keep asking God for strength.
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By law you have to be notified that there will be a hearing for Guardianship.
You will be notified when and where the Case will be heard.
You can appear yourself or if you like you can hire a lawyer (I would suggest an Elder Care Attorney if you are going to get a lawyer.)
If it is determined that your dad needs a Guardian then it will be between you and your sister or other family member that wishes to take on this responsibility.
If the court determines that one or the other of you is best that person will be appointed Guardianship. If the court decides that neither of you is responsible or would act in your fathers best interest the Court will appoint a guardian. They could also grant Guardianship to you or your sister BUT still require a Court Appointed Guardian to oversee
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There will be a court proceeding for Guardianship. You say they are "trying to get Dad declared crazy". Are they having him examined for dementia? Does your father show signs of dementia?
I can tell you that a court will not take a Senior's own direction over his being and give it to another without SOLID proof that the Senior is no longer competent to act for himself; that means a lot of proof from doctors. In fact a senior need be only minimally competent in the mind of the court. When guardianship is sought through the Court the Senior is right there, will be provided counsel if he wishes it.
Apparently there is no POA now? With whom does the father live? Does he live with the Sister or the Sister with him? Are there assets in the father's name that you suspect the sister is trying to get in some way?
You mention APS. There apparently is a long and ongoing tormented history in all this that I am not privy to. I cannot remember your last posts in which others suggested that you should walk away. That may have been good advice that you have chosen not to take.
Everything eventually does come down to our own choices for our own lives. I am sorry, as there is nothing quite so sad as a Senior ending his or her life with the siblings fighting over them. As a nurse I witnessed families fighting right over the bed of a fragile senior. It is something I fear I haven't ever fully got over.
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answry Nov 21, 2020
His primary physician is the one suggesting dementia but refuses to refer out for second opinion or testing. I requested a second opinion from the primary after sister kept talking about the mentality (violence) of dad. Doc and sister instead agreed to put him on haloperidol and donepezil. Tramadol for pain. I believe risperidone is in there as well as I kept seeing off and on in mother’s arsenal. So now he mostly sleeps and when he is not sleeping his hands are trembling like leaves on a tree.

Nope! No poa. Couldn’t be produced several times. There are assets that belonged to father and mother including the home she lives in. Sister lives with dad – never left home. So I think she deserves the home. But don’t believe, it is about the assets. In fact, I’m unsure at this point,

I tried to move to just visits but kept getting pulled in like when home health kept stressing wound care but I’m guessing sister would not agree. Or she would send one of the parents to hospital and then I would get the call asking why the parent was sent and they couldn’t reach sister but they are seeing all these issues and wonder if mom was in a nursing home. So then I would have to redirect them back to sister.

I agree it is very sad but I can’t seem to make it stop with the exception of turning my back on the final parent and never looking back. I would never be happy with that as I tried to do it with when mom was here.
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Yes, I agree with CM that without POA, guardianship would be the next step and the courts/lawyer should notify interested parties that sister is seeking guardianship. You then can be at the hearing and express why u don't feel ur sister should be guardian. Or even ask that if she is granted guardianship that you not be kept away from your father.

Actually her being guardian she will have to be accountable to the State. With a POA there is no accountability. Your sister will need to send reports yearly showing how she has spent his money. That he has seen a doctor regularly. If you feel she isn't doing right by Dad, you can position the Court to look into it. She will need to keep meticulous records.
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answry Nov 21, 2020
That is the main thing I want. Not being kept away from my father and being able to know what is going on with him health wise. Sister and other siblings fought hard to kept things away from me when it came to mom. But I guess some of those calls that slipped through the cracks was God's way of helping me match up some of what I was seeing with my eyes during visits.
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If your parents mental health is too far gone to do the POA paperwork(as they would have to be of sound mind when paperwork was done), then a family member has no choice(unless they want the state to take control of your parents)to file for guardianship. That process from my understanding is quite expensive, so if your sister is willing to shell out thousands of dollars to obtain guardianship, then let her. You can still always report to APS any wrong doing on behalf of your parents, if need be. You need to just let this issue go, as it's certainly not doing your mental health any good. Just let your sister know that you will be watching her care of your parents and that if necessary you will be reporting her to the appropriate authorities. Best wishes.
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answry Nov 21, 2020
It just hurt my heart with hospitalist asking if mom came from a nursing home or them saying she came to us like this. I thought these people very mandatory reporters but guess with the COVID-19 made it impossible
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Your sister does not have power of attorney for your father, for finances or for healthcare. Your sister is his primary caregiver, is she?

If those are so, I don't know why you would say that there is no reason for her to seek guardianship/conservatorship other than a desire to exclude you from his life. Surely there is every reason: it is very difficult to act on somebody's behalf if you don't have the legal authority to do so.

I also don't know why you believe it to be guaranteed that you would not be notified of a petition. Notifying close family members would be standard practice - and don't forget it's up to the court to supervise this process, it's not up to the petitioner.

What would you actually like your father's care plan to look like?
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answry Nov 21, 2020
She is the primary caregiver now. I gave her what she wanted and she’s still unhappy with me regardless of what I do or don’t do. Well it worries me a bit reading about guardianship because of sayings that sometimes guardianship gets turned over to the state who then takes it from the family. I guess at times, it would be needed.

Well some internet research says the petitioner has to notify others like siblings and that it is not the responsibility of the courts. I guess that is if you try to approach on your own or just maybe my comprehension of that part of the statement was wrong.

I would like it to look like not everything is taking away from him (but I let that go). I would like it to not look like moms care did. I would like it to look like if things get really bad like it did with mom, that they would bring hospice in and not wait until death is at the door.
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