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Assisted liv residence require doing an assessment, what do you do if your parent is unable to get there for the assessment? Alternatives? Apparently an assessment of the resident is required for assisted living. In the event we are able to convince my mother to even go, her mobility is extremely limited. What are our alternatives? Secondly, if we cant convince her, is our only alternative to turn to the state for help? Incompetent? There is no way she is capable of living on her own, she has degenerative disk disease, her knees are basically bone on bone, she has afib, and is very overweight as well as a 30+ year chain smoker. She no longer can even make it to the restroom at night, because her legs just don't work. Her hygiene is deplorable, not having bathed in over 3 years. We have tried having outside sources com in to help with bathing, etc, she refuses it. We have to do something! My brother is living with her now, 24/7, but NEEDS to work. She is insistent on staying in her home. A live, and at home health care is not an option in her current location. We need help desperately. Thank you for any guidance you may be able to give.



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If she can't get there for an assessment, then you already have your answer. It's too late for AL and you need to look at the next level up.

My mom's senior apartment charged $5 one way for a volunteer to wheel you anywhere.

The whole point behind AL is that it's for people who are a little bit forgetful or don't have the range of motion they used to and need a little help.

AL is not for people with cognitive decline serious enough they can't understand how to make good decisions anymore. It's not for dementia patients with behaviors. It's not for people who need 24/7 supervision or any kind of skilled nursing care.

Place your mother in the facility that can handle her next stage of need, not what everyone wishes it was. You are going to have to ignore what mom says and do what mom needs. This is when you have to stop being the adult child and make the decisions that will keep her safe. She may be mad, but there's worse than mad. And mad will pass.
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I guess i would call Adult Protective Services and report her as a vulnerable adult who is refusing help. The State can step in and take emergency guardianship.

Id she falls, instruct your brother to call 911 and do nor, repeat not agree to take her home from the hospital. Discuss the situation with the social workers there.
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pam, my mom is wheelchair bound and in an AL. They do not require residents to get to the dining room on their own. Quite a few need to be wheeled down for their meals. Each place is different I guess.
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Agreed, if she cannot ambulate to get there for an assessment, she is beyond Assisted Living. They do expect residents to be able to get to and from the dining room for meals. They also expect the resident to cooperate with the aide who comes to bathe them. If she has not had a bath in 3 years, they cannot admit her, that's state health law.
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The AL I am familiar with requires residents to go to the dining room, on their own. They have walkers, wheelchairs or scooters, but this is the minimum mobility. They can bring the food to their rooms, but they need to get it.
ALs charge according to the services the resident requires, your mom may be beyond AL needs.....sorry, that is harsh to have to accept. AL is for residents that need help, nursing homes are for patients.
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If she can't even make it to the AL to be assessed I think her needs may be beyond what they can offer. Are they aware of all her health issues and her degree of disability? Does this facility take residents with those needs? To me she sounds ready for a nursing home, if not now then in the near future.
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