Hi. I'm new to this area of this website, but hope to find some information, or at least some comfort. My mom has CHF, A Defibrillator implant for electrical cardiac problems, and has 3 stents in her legs b/c of bad peripheral artery disease. She does not follow doctor's orders at all. She's still smoking a LOT and her routine is to sit at the kitchen table most all day w/out elevating her feet above her heart like the doctor ordered. Now she's having a lot of pain in her right foot, after having complications from her last cardiac cath/stent placement. She got a hematoma and the nurse kneeded this hematoma to break it up, causing my mom extreme pain and leaving her right leg, groin and abdomon very black and blue. I'm a nurse but am on disability b/c of chronic pain conditions. I worked in a busy ER and on a cardiac/telemetry unit when I was working. I feel guilty b/c I'm getting frustrated with my mom b/c she won't follow dr. orders and then complains of extreme pain when she knows the doctor is not available. She refuses to go to the ER. I'm the sole caregiver for my mom and s-dad who are both in very poor health. My own health has suffered badly from buring the wick at both ends, and although I'm totally burned out, I do love them dearly and fear I'll soon find one of them 'not breathing'... I have PTSD from finding my real dad dead in Dec. 2000. His death was totally unexpected. I have no money to get a place of my own and my mom and s-dad absolutey refuse to allow outside help to come in. They see how much pain I'm in and how stressed I've become ( I can't eat, can't sleep, have lost 30lbs in the past 4-5 months, have panic attacks and major depression), yet they won't allow anyone to help them but me. I'm at a loss and afraid.
Any suggestions, advice, encouragement and/or support would be greatly appreciated. I'm really scared.