How do I talk my Mom into AL. And how do we pay for that ? Right now she’s having private care coming in against Her will but we didn’t give her a choice. She doesn’t want to be alone but we have no one to stay there. She’s demanding, mean, hateful, and very jealous of everything. There is no sign of Dementia. She’s just refusing anything that will help her get stronger. Her money will run out. She won’t make financial decisions. We were told if we leave her on her own it’s abandonment. But we cannot stay due to work and my own sanity.
People want a lot of things but that does not mean they are always reasonable wishes in the hard cold reality of the real world of elder care. So, your mom does not want to be alone yet no one can/will stay with her. Except the paid care that she does not want. Very common but hiring care without her approval is the way to go since she is obviously not making good choices at this time.
She won't try to get better? Won't walk? You have to wonder what in the world she is thinking. You say no signs of dementia but given her age and this inability to make reasonable decisions, maybe there is something going on in that department? Worth looking into?