What to do about a sibling who is not on board about selling Mom's home?

Nasirs profile says their mom lives in a hospital,, I just checked it out...
Around where I live many ALs are quite nice, and the residents have outings, companionship, etc. Quite different from a NH.. As for things being on a schedule, I know my house is on one..LOL we tend to eat, get ready for bed, etc at about the same times every day. And as for sitting around all day watching TV.. check out some recent posts on here..LOL My mom and my ILs all watch TV and nap alot all day, and they are in our homes! Most of my friends with elderly parents also notice this. Perhaps you thought Josie meant a NH? In AL you have your own "apartment" or room.. your private space that is only for you (not that some don;t wander)

Exactly Jeanne, plus the Brother would have to move home to help care for her, unless costs include round the clock care! I'll just bet he is not prepared to do this? Does Mom have the money to afford all this, I'll bet it would cost much more than she is spending, getting good care at the Assisted Living place she is currently established in! It's oh so easy, to breeze into town, and placate to Mom who of course says she wants to go home, and tell her it's even a possibility, when you've gone to all the trouble of researching and finding her a nice place to live, she has dementia, of course she wants to go home, they always say that!

And No Nasmir, its no longer Mom's Choice, she has Dementia, and can no longer manage her own Life, let alone reason out all of the potential problems and care that it takes to live in said home! The OP stated, that it's no longer a possibility for her to live there, and they have done their best to find her a safe and comfortable living situation. Now it's time to sell the home, so that she can continue to afford living ther.

It is sad when this happens, and the family home needs to be sold, but we all eventually must face the facts that when we reach a certain age, the best thing to do is what's best for our LO, no matter how emotional we are about selling up the family home.
Perhaps the brother would like to purchase it, at fair market value!

Nasmir, just curious. Do you have any experience at all caring for a person with dementia?

Whack your brother upside his head with a 2x4. Just kidding - although I bet the thought has crossed your mind, right? Hard to believe he can't see that what he actually is doing is being cruel to your mother. So, back to - who has POA? If no one does and your counting on your mother to sign on, you might have a fight on your hands. Is the money from the sale of the house needed to pay for the AL? That might be one approach. Does your brother actually think it's possible for your mom to move back? If so, ask him what his plans are to see she has 24/7 care - and how he's going to manage all her needs while she's living back home. I have this theory that the sibling holding out for the most difficult course, gets to be the one taking care of things. Sounds like he doesn't even live near by - just breezes in and mucks things up. Do you have other siblings?

You say you have no option but to sell the house. I understand what you mean. But I think Glad's approach is sound. Cost out the option your brother thinks would work. Perhaps even talk to the AL staff and see what kind of in-home services mom would need. Find out what they cost in your area. Be sure to include costs of maintaining the house -- even if it is fully paid for, living there won't be free.

Nelson, sounds like your Mom wants to move back to her home, that is common. Life in Assisted Living is easy for the patient, per say, so they think life back at home would be the same... except they forget they can't bring home all the nurses, aides, housekeeping, and the chef.

Empty houses are a very high risk. Have you or your brother checked with Mom's home insurance carrier? Is the carrier ok with the house being left empty? Some of the major carriers will cancel the insurance, and/or if there is a broken water pipe will NOT pay for coverage if no one had notified the carrier the house is empty.

Just yesterday I noticed the water condensation pipe from the A/C was bubbling inside my own house.... oops... I caught it just in the nick of time, otherwise if this was my Dad's empty house, I wouldn't have noticed it until I checked the house a couple days later, by then the basement would have been flooded. I was lucky with my Dad, he wanted to get rid of the house ASAP after he moved to senior living.

Empty houses have to be tended to like someone was living there... lawn mowed, property taxes paid, home owner insurance paid, maintenance and repairs. House has to look like someone is living there.

Show him what costs would be for in home care compared to assisted living. Who has POA?