My father who is 86 years old and currently has Multiple Myeloma is very active and doing fine. I have been taking him to the doctors and doing all his financials and meds for several years. My Dad lives with his brother who is 79. That is where the story starts.
What has happened through the years is that my Uncle has become very fragile and pretty much a hypochondriac. He dwells over all his problems and has become his own Doctor. He suffers from severe hearing loss, bone pain and most recently has been diagnosed with Parkinsons disease.
A month ago he decided to play Doctor and decided on his own to stop taking his Carbidopa Levopda . He had a very bad reaction and if I had not come by to visit my Dad my Uncle would have died. We took him to the ER and he was hospitalized for 5 days. During those 5 days he experienced some drastic hallucinations and confusion. He recovered after 4 days and was sent home.
The issue I am experiencing is that his Neurologist feels that he should be in an Assisted Living situation where someone can make sure he is taking his meds properly. I am putting his meds out every week and Dad is making sure that he takes only what I put out. The concern here is that my Dad who is 86 is like the blind leading the blind. My Dad is a great guy but he is so into his own thing with all his projects that his focus is limited when it comes to my Uncle.
My Uncle, who really never held a job for any length of time or has ever paid for any groceries or utilities, does not share the sentiment about helping my
Dad out with anything financially. When I mentioned about the Assisted Living to my Uncle, he was not pleased. My Uncle does not have the funds for
Assisted Living or for paying for home care for any length of time. I realized that but I simply wanted my Uncle to start thinking about the future since my Dad is 86. I do not have plans or wish to have my Uncle move in with my wife and I, since that would greatly impact our lives beyond belief.
I am uncertain on what is the best approach in handling my Uncle and Dad. My sister goes to the house once a week to help clean, but other than that, I am on my own to make sure my Dad is properly taken care of and my Uncle stays out of harms way. I sometimes question my Dads judgment at times, but overall, he is rather dependable, for now.
I am really conflicted because I want whats best for my Dad and want him to have a quality life, but my Uncle seems to be a challenge that I have not yet been able to resolve. My Uncles Parkinsons will progress with Dementia and in hand leave my Dad with a challenge that is really unfair for him in his later years. What do I do?