Dad is 89, with moderate dementia (personality intact, but little short term memory and no ability to manage his own affairs, which I do as his POA). His wife died a year ago and he wanted to stay in his house. Although I live out of state I have cobbled together in-home care for him, which has been immensely stressful but he tells me it will kill him if he has to move to AL.
His primary caregiver does a good job of looking after him, but recently I caught her being dishonest with me and I'm very concerned. Short back-story: I have 1/2 siblings in another country, also my dad's children, one of whom keeps asking to see his will (he is not wealthy) and they are upset I'm in charge of his finances. Like REALLY upset. One of them is a ruthless narcissist who will stop at nothing to achieve her goal. I've already told her A. he made a will after his wife's death last year and B. he's since been diagnosed with dementia and deemed incompetent to sign anymore paperwork.
But she is coming to visit soon, and has been constantly messaging and calling his caregiver to discuss my dad's will, her suspicions (which have no founding) etc. Problem is caretaker talks to sibling and discusses these matters, and doesn't tell me. Not only that, caregiver denied talking to her! She was hiding it from me. As I am the one legally responsible for my dad's care and finances, this was a red flag.
Also: 1/2 sibs called APS on me last year and they investigated and found nothing wrong and closed the case.
Any thoughts on how to handle this? My concerns are:
1. can't trust caregiver, but need her as she's good with dad and I don't live here and have no one else.
Is it ok for her to be communicating with other family members (not POAs) about my dad's affairs?
2. 1/2 sib is visiting and will cause much havoc (she always does) trying to rewrite dad's documents, will in particular, despite warnings from lawyer and myself.
Thanks for any thoughts!