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Mother in 70's alcoholic. Drinks most of the day & night, every day. Has had many falls, broken ribs, lumps on head, numerous bruises, etc from falls while intoxicated. Has many blackouts. Tries to hide her drinking, even though its very obvious to family, friends & neighbors.

Has EXTREMELY poor hygiene, very dirty person! Will not use toilet paper, flush toilet or use soap to wash hands! Wears undergarments & clothes for an entire week or longer without washing or changing them. Rarely showers.

Family has tried to get her help which she refuses! Family has spoken to her physician seeking guidance & making him aware of situation which was of no use.

Family has called police supplying them with information such as car being driven while intoxicated along with license plate numbers which was also useless!

I truly believe that she has mental issues as a result of alcohol!

Neighbors & I found her face down at bottom of driveway tonight. Face is all messed up from fall. Brought her in the house, cleaned her & put her to bed, where she passed out for the night.

We are at our wits end! Terrified of her hurting herself or others!

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As mentioned in these excellent answers, there's only so much you can do since she isn't your ward. You can try your county Adult Protective Services and see if they can do a welfare check. If they see she is dirty and living poorly and probably drunk, they may be able to intervene temporarily. However, it's doubtful they can do much permanently.
I'd encourage your whole family to attend Al-Anon to help you cope with the issues this causes for you. It's horrible to watch someone self-destruct in this way. She likely has so much mental damage from the alcohol abuse that she has dementia. If it's bad enough you may be able to force her into some kind of help. The people at Al-Anon will know your local services and may be able to direct you. Good luck.
Carol
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What a horrible situation you are dealing with. I honestly don't know what you can do if you don't have DPOA regarding her physical well being.If your mother is of sound mind, you can't force her to do anything against her will. The only other thing I can think of that may give you some answers is to call the Area on Aging in your mother's county or Adult Protective Services. If they won't act by visiting your mother, they may be able to give you some answers to your questions. It is very painful for you to be in this situation watching your mother destroy her life. The sad reality is you may not be able to do anything about it. Call the Area on Aging or Adult Protective Services!! Unless you want to pursue a legal case with an attorney. Make sure you are taking care of your emotional well being, learn about detaching with love. Hugs to you!!
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Hopeful, my best friend's daughter-in-law has a mother who is an alcoholic. Her mom has been thrown into dementia from the alcohol full steam now. Her brain has been permanently damaged from decades of alcohol abuse, so you're right when you thought that your mother has mental issues now. Get a second opinion from a doctor that actually knows this stuff will ya? She needs help, even if it means she has to move somewhere where they can take care of her properly.
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How awful for you and your family!

What can a doctor do? Tell her to stop drinking? Tell her to improve her hygiene? Suggest that she go to a recovery place? And if she refuses to do any of it ... ??

What could the police do, unless you tell them when she actually driving drunk and you point out where? I don't think they can arrest her for driving drunk yesterday -- they actually have to catch her at it. But that seems like a possible intervention point, if someone could call when she is actually on the road. Maybe if she got arrested for DWI that would be a huge wake-up call. But maybe not. Think of all the people who get arrested over and over and have their licenses revoked and still drink and drive. I think it is worth a shot, but with no guarantees.

Mother has already hurt herself, and continues to do so. Stopping her from driving might at least help prevent her from hurting (or killing) others. I wonder if MADD might have any advice for you along those lines?

Seeing a loved one do something self-destructive and being powerless to stop it must be extremely painful. My heart goes out to you.
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