My mom recently got sick enough for a visit to the hospital. She was deemed a bit deficient due to age/dementia/alzheimers and moved to a rehab/nursing facility. I don't have custody of anything of hers due to her own ignorance/paranoia and unwillingness to let me get involved. Some of which was perpetrated by her sister. Being that mom had not been to the doctor's regularly, it was a surprise that her mind had deteriorated so much. My mom and I have not had the best relationship since my dad passed 22 years ago but I stayed as involved as she would let me. I am now finding out that her sister is trying to take over her affairs and a "friend" was assisting my mom in paying her bills. I don't believe anyone is on mom's bank account and she doesn't have a bank card and no checking. My mom has difficulty traveling alone and can't see very well so the friend helping my mom always went to the bank with her and my mom convinced me that the lady is trustworthy but I have my doubts. This lady assisted my aunt in breaking into my mom's house. I no longer have access although I had the keys. They changed the locks. I am attempting power of attorney but the sister has been telling people that my mom agreed to her taking over things despite her being 75+ years old and not a resident here in NY State. She currently has no papers to support her claims but she is attempting to get her name in the hat. I am the only daughter living near my mom. My sister is in California. My mom's sister is causing all sorts of commotion trying to keep me from being involved in my mom's care and I think it's because she's after my mom's money. I currently have primary control over moms medical situation. Mom's sister has been telling everyone I was just forcing my mom into a nursing home so I can get at her money. I just don't know what protections I can perform in the interim to keep my mom's finances intact. How long does guardianship take if you can't get POA? And if the sister get's at my mom's bank account, what can I do about that after the fact? Does the sister have any rights to anything considering what my mom may have said? I have no idea if the sister is being truthful. And I think the sister's motives are not in my mom's best interests. I saw the Medicaid paperwork takes a look back of finances for 5 years prior. What happens when mom's money disappears? I would love to wash my hands of the entire thing if this is what my mom intended but I feel like I need to protect her from herself. I am so very frustrated by what's involved to help my mom if she won't let me.
I thought it was interesting that your Mom's sister sister has been telling everyone you were just forcing your mom into a nursing home so you can get at her money. It's like hello, nursing homes are not free. If Mom has money, that money first goes to the nursing home and then when Mom runs out of money, then Medicaid will come in to help with cost.
Does your Mom have a Will? If there is no Will, this is how the estate is divided: nycourts.gov/courthelp/WhenSomeoneDies/intestacy.shtml As you can see your Mom's sister is way down on the list.
I would hire an "Elder Law Attorney" so you can get Mom's ducks all in a row correctly.