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So lately Mom (88) has been sleeping more and more and is grumpier than ever. She lives with myself, DH and 2 kids but she is really starting to put a strain on things. She gets up in the AM and used to be up all day til around 7pm or so maybe taking a nap while the kids were at school but lately she is sleeping more and more to the point where it seems like that is all she wants to do. We've tried getting her involved in senior center activities etc. but she's not the least bit interested in any of it. She normally is in bed by 7pm and not up til 8am. It's embarassing for the kids to have friends over or try and plan stuff because when we do she throws a bully fit and I of course feel bad and will stay back with her. I get the fact that she's old but how can someone possibly sleep that much? She has a hard time getting around because of arthritis but she still has her wits about her so the thoughts of putting her elsewhere seems like a losing battle. I'm getting at my wits end with her since she is my mom but it's not fair to the rest of the household either. At this point not sure what to do next........

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Assuming your mother is till capable of living alone with your support would she qualify for section 8 housing support? Is there a senior apartment complex near enough that you could easily check up on her every day or two? Or even pick her up and take her back home most days? Assuming your mother can reheat food, you could stock the refrigerator for her and go over a couple of hours one day a week to clean. She may even qualify for Medicaid in home services like bathing assistance and housekeeping help.
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Has she started a new med or an increase with an old. Too much BP medicine will make them tired. Has she had blood and urine tests lately?
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Maine127 Jan 21, 2019
She just had blood & urine tests done at her 6 month check up. She does take BP medicine but the amounts of that or the others hasn't changed. She actually is pretty good about keep the pills in a pill storage for morning & evening.
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I know we hear a lot about people living robust lives into their 90's (and beyond!) but the reality is that the vast majority are not so fortunate. At 88 she's very old, I bet if you look with a critical eye you will see that she is getting slower and frailer in many ways. She has to be reminded that your kid's needs come first and that this is their home - is there a better way to keep her separate from your kids in the evenings?
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Maine127 Jan 21, 2019
I really wish that there were, an on suite room/apartment would be ideal but unfortunately we have a small home and there is just no room for something like that. She is frail and does have difficultly getting around. I have tried speaking to her about the kids but unfortunately if its something she does't want to hear it goes in one ear and out the other. I've spoken to the nurse @ her Dr's office and she's basically told me unless she's a harm to herself or someone else there is really not much they can do to assist. The nurse suggested trying as assisted living facility but unfortunately she has no $$$ to even to get in to one of these.
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She began living with us after she was in an automobile accident about 6 years ago and pretty much lost everything. She had very little savings and never owned a home so at that point it seemed like that this was the best thing to do. Unfortunately now I see this may have been the wrong choice because she is definetely going no where else at least willingly.
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Why did she begin living with you? How long has this been the living arrangement?
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