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My Mom Came to the door and said can you drive me to my friends house the same lady who suggest my Mom go off her meds my Mom thinks she will go to hell if she takes her meds. I said no my Mom I don't think it's a good Idea since she has Parkinson and the dementia my Mom then said are you going to let me die, if I was your brother are you going to let me die or sister she kept going on I said no you need to take your medications I said to her husband do you realize how sick my mom is you wouldn't let me in the house yesterday because my Mom told you not too he responded I never did that but he did he just doesn't remember I said my Mom is off her medication he said what medication when did she do that I said I told you yesterday and the day before he said no you didn't my hands are tied and I am waiting for intake to come do an assessment but in the mean time my Mom is getting worse,I don't know if she is eating because when I phone and ask him did you guys have supper he said no? Then earlier my Mom ask me to drive her to her christian lady friend who said go ahead and try going off your medication if you want see what happens, my Mom's husband is not letting me in the house because my Mom tells him not too but I said she is sick and he says oh well sorry??
The intake nurse said let them be till they are asset but I am worried my Mom is not eating and she is off her meds and her husband is loose his memory big time! The only thing I can do is step back completely and let them take care of everything. I am worried sick and will I get into legal trouble because of elder neglect. And that's what will happen if anything happens and Mom ends up in the hospital with injury from a fall, I don't know what to I have contact everyone even the police they said they can't do nothing I even wrote letters to the doctors but they take their sweet time fed up! I need help now! Mom's situation is not good and I am afraid for her safety. Her well being must come first!! Sorry for my spelling and grammar stressed out!

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overwhelm, I felt your pain and stress when you told your mother no. Mine does the same thing of asking me if I want her to die, or saying I just don't care. I know that it is her shoving on a boundary to try to break it down, but it is still hard to be in that situation. Sometimes it would be so much easier to just cave in, but it would mean that we can't say no. We have to keep the power to say no and mean it.

I don't think any sane person would accuse you of neglect. Jeanne and babalou gave good advice. We get so many messages from the outside. Some people think if we're not hovering like a bee that we are neglecting. Others tell us we need to get away and let them have some independence. ACK! I believe that all we can do is our best while trying to keep up a semblance of our own lives.

I am glad that the assessment is soon. I wish it could be sooner, but I imagine the caseworker is fully booked.
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The assessment case manager is supposed to set up a time this week she is not even coming right away, so worried and stressed they are both not well.
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Overwhelm, I'm so sorry this is happening! If the nurse said let them be, then I think that's all you can do. Keep in touch with them, and if there is a crisis, call 911 and meet EMTS there so that you have witnesses that you tried to get your mom help. This is very sad. Hang in, sister!
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How soon will the assessment occur? Hang in there! Has an appointment been set up?

The situation sounds unsafe. I don't blame you for being upset. If you have been told to let them be until they are assessed, how can you be responsible for neglect? You have done everything you can. I can't see how you could be charged with neglect, so that should be one less worry. But I do understand how concerned you are.
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