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Elder is on thiamine, trazedone, mirtazapine, magnesium, calcium, rappamune. Has ckd3, copd, liver transplant x2 cirrhosis, athosclerosis, DVt, c-diff, SBO history, etc. elder signed new poa putting primary as secondary (unknown to him at the time),removing 2nd daughter and appointing 3rd daughter as primary. 1st and second daughter been hcp for over 10 years. 3rd daughter taking adv of fathers condition. That's just some background. My question is a neiropsych exam was completed after change in hcp so I can't see results. Seniorcare is guarded in speaking. They tell me my father can make decisions when guided by his doctor. Yet daughter 3 sighns MOLST (she says dnr but dad tells doctor full code). Signs hospital admittance papers too as personal reoresentTive (she does have poa...I did too until she tricked him into believing I was trying to have him declared incompetent). Dad is noted as "senior at risk". His diagnosis are depressive disorder moderate, generalized anxiety disorder, alcohol dependent, not otherwise specified. Why won't anyone diagnose memory issues? Why were results of test so general(may change as not been paid yet), what would indicate that he can make decision with guidance of doctor? That assumes doctor has his best interest, etc Dad also has history of influence.

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Pam. An elder law attorney told me that he needs to be declared incompetent to ask court to appoint guardian. His dr won't do. He says my father can make decisions if guided by his dr. I say as long as dr has his best interest...to ur point. That's why I don't think there's anything else I can do. Why won't seniorcare recommend that to the DA? Is it because they think he doesn't have much longer anyway?
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I'm afraid of burning bridges w my dad. I need to be sure. I'll ask an attorney. But I'm afraid of losing. Senior services is getting more help I. There. Pam I think you've been following my posts for this past year? I asked in a letter to senior are, police, his dr that I thought a court should appoint an independent guardian and take all of us out. But I dont know what senior care has recommended as a result of their latest investigation. Will an elder attorney be able to find out?
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Mon2014, initiate Guardian petition immediately. Your father needs fair and impartial care for both his person and his estate. In the petition, include verifiable information that he has moved assets for less than fair market value.
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Thanks for Info on dementia and depression. It's not that I want him diagnosed a particular way it's that I want him properly diagnosed and it's been like pulling teeth to get people to diagnose. Doctors give opinions verbally but don't document Dx consistent with their written notes.
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Charges have been filed against Caregiver/roommate by police and Senior Care. Reports to senior are have been filed by dads nurse case manager, doctors and nurses. I had dual dpoa with my sister in July. She then told him she did could not afford his 845k house so he sold it to her for 400k. She paid off his 260k mtg and said she would pay remainder when she sells her home. 6 months later she put in 200k addition, renovated baths and kitchen. Dad still has a 300k mtg on condo. She worked behind my back to convince him I was trying to declare him incompetent and out in nursing home. I have photo of document in her handwriting. She teamed up w caretaker to turn him against me. Police say I stayed course re caretaker she changed after she got his house. I have worked behind scenes to get healthcare system to stop treating him like he's an alcoholic whose life doesn't mean anything. I won't let people sweep his healthcare needs...proper diagnosis=proper treatment and can stop brain damage etc. that's what I've been trying to do. Caretaker and sister...it's all about the coverup now. As long as he can be manipulated hey can be in control. current situation is that nurses, PT home care, social work/therapy and Proper medicines : thiamine, trazedone, mirtazapine have all made a significant difference in his health, happiness, rtc. For the first time he is like my old dad. No. It's not about money for me. I talk about the possibility and hcp taken from me because he was deceived and because it was s personal shock that my sister would do that. My father is z very sick man and I believe he needs to be protected and cared for. He believes he's ok because he had 2 daughters involved.
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Elders should not be allowed to make their health decisions.
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If you sincerely believe there is elder manipulation happening with your father, his health care, comfort, and quality of life is being compromised, and you can provide factual examples/documentation to support your claims (not emotional allegations that reflect family conflict & sibling rivalry), I would encourage you to seek information and guidance from your local Area Agency on Aging, an elder law attorney, and a geriatric-psychologist. I can not emphasize enough the need to keep your emotions separate from the facts, which is extremely difficult. You indicated that there are legal documents signed 10 years ago by your father identifying who should be his DPOA and MPOA. These could/should be very relevant to your situation. I am not an attorney but have been dealing with a complex family situation involving manipulation and deception by my brother for several years. I am simply passing on information that I have learned from legal counsel during my journey to stop this nightmare and destruction. It is a difficult roller-coaster ride and our system is broken. Again, I emphasize if indeed there is wrong-doing and it is not strictly a sibling-rivalry issue, keep strong, focus first on your father's well-being, and do not give up.
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Why do I hear so much about wanting POA changed? Were our parents not alert and aware of everything they owned and their finances when they chose their POA? Of course they were. Specifying a POA is to come into play when a person can no longer take care of their own issues. Sometimes, the patient wants the assistance before they need it. That's ok, as I can imagine how tiring terminal illness can be. It seems I hear a lot on here about money this, money that. Greed and anger. I sure hope my kids don't act this way while I am going through my last days. Personally, if people would stop worrying about what they are going to get and create their own life dream, it would be wonderful. I dealt with 3 angry children who made their father very sad in his last days. These children DI D NOT LIKE ME, so they took it out on their father. They punished him and never came to visit him, even when I called them to say he was dying. How can people do this and live with the guilt for the rest of their lives. I think if more people realized the energy it takes to care for a loved one day in and day out, they would think twice about being the caregiver and POA. My love has been gone since July and I am still trying to come back from exhaustion. It is not an easy job. You cannot just take on the POA and sit back and let someone else do the care. You cannot expect the dying to be content with strangers around them day in and day out and their own children are nowhere. I wish you well with any decisions you make
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Just because your father changed his POA, has depression and on medications for medical challenges, does not make him incompetent. Neuropsych testing encompasses at least a four hour exam with an MRI to make a qualified diagnosis. Instead of worrying about who has control of your father, visit him and make his life as memorable as possible since you will not have him forever. Most of your question was undecipherable since I don't really know which acronym stood for your word. Most of us are not mind readers. Merry Christmas!
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ReadhtoGo is right on. Depression can mask the dementia for sure. There have been cases where food intake and meds change made a complete change in a person.

You stated that he is alcohol dependent. Are they giving him alcohol in the NH?

I only ask because my father was an alcohoic. I found out they kept a bottle in the pantry just for him. I could not believe the doctor went along with this. He passed away shortly after he was placed in the nursing home. I was just out of school and my older sister 18 yrs older than myself, was in charge of his care. I hated it when I heard he was in a nursinghome.

I am sorry that you are going through this.
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I gather that you want you dad diagnosed as having dementia/Alzheimer's instead of depression. Are you a healthcare professional? Depression and dementia have many of the same symptoms, therefore depression can easily be misinterpreted as dementia when the patient is elderly. In my nursing classes, we went over this extensively.
My mom was diagnosed with severe depression. Even after the physician's diagnosis, my sisters are convinced mom has dementia. I try to explain it to them to no avail. I suggest you google the similarities to gain a better understanding of the disease process.
Your father made the decision to make your sister POA. What is she doing to make you believe she is taking advantage of him? Seniorcare is following HIPPA rules by not telling you everything. Have you heard your father tell the doctor he is full code, or is he telling you he is full code when he is really DNR? He may just not want to upset you.
It is painful to watch a parent decline, but it is part of life. I don't know how old your father is, but maybe he's sick of being sick. Most of the patients I see in the nursing home are DNR. It's a heartbreaking reality many of us face with our parents. I'm sorry you are going through this.
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