What steps must I take immediately after my mother passes?

Dear Artist69, I feel for you, as I had to do this on my own for my Mother. It was the most painful time. Do not listen to any negative people, you are in a state of mind that is vulnerable and I am so proud of you for reaching out to this group. I can give some advice from experience. Pre planning a funeral is great; however, make sure you are not alone. The funeral home made me sit through another 3 hours because the pre-planner had done things wrong and resigned. They did discount for my inconvenience. Cremation is ideal, my Mom would not allow it, so it was not my choice. I had an estate sale, interview 3 companies. Choose one that cares about you and is not just out to make money. They charge a big fee so make certain you have enough to sell to cover their commission. It will be difficult for you emotionally, I am so very sorry! Put any antiques on reserve, do not undersell and look up prices on eBay yourself. I had very good luck selling what was left on Facebook Marketplace and some on Craigslist. But don’t be alone, don’t give out personal information at all. Don’t post your phone or address. Get a Google Voice number, it is free. Also, explain to your landlord that you need to stay while on the waitlist. My state has help for people because of Covid, they cannot be evicted. But you can hopefully work something out. Another option is a go fund me, Facebook also has a go fund me to help with funerals. I completely understand if you lost friends while caring for your Mother. I made calls to old friends and they all came through for me, it was hard to ask. My church was wonderful too and Hospice was also a huge help. I am still talking to my grief counselor about everything, she has great advice. This will be difficult for you. I pray for you and hope one little bit of information helps. I found prayer to be very powerful, perhaps you will meet just the right person to help you. God bless.

Do you have Hospice with you? They will help cover some of the cost related to mom. Also, call the companies ie., electric, phone, etc... and explain the circumstances and/or ask how you can lower the payments STAT (or get assistance from them) ALL Utility companies, etc... have an Assistance program in place.

THEN....don't worry about any of the rest. Deal with only what you can at the time & focus on your mom. Count out you & your mommas money. How much for funeral? How much for groceries for the week? How much for bills? How much for rent? Then, start putting them in order: 1st - moms funeral, 2nd - shelter 3rd - bills (and in what order you feel necessary to pay back in order).....

OR....maybe your son could set up a GOFUNDME page for you? What about a personal loan (not a super huge one - but one to help you through these tough times with your mom & grieving)

Its more difficult to become organized when stressed. Wish I could offer you a huge hug and assistance right now.

Sending prayers your way.

Donating her body to the local medical school would probably be the least expensive free option. They will give you the ashes in about a year and you can scatter them or do whatever you wish with them.

I’m sorry you are going through such difficult times. As many have said contact the local senior community center and see if they can help you. Or call 211 if you are in the US. Since you may have a little bit of time maybe you can get some things arranged.

If you are able to dispose of some of the furniture you have now that would probably be a good thing. Storage is expensive and usually not worth it. Keep a few items that you know you will need or put them in temporary storage and donate or sell the rest. Things weigh you down and ultimately we just get rid of them anyway.

If worst comes to worst you can go to a women’s shelter, and then you will be in the social services network and they will help you find housing, food etc. It is a difficult time but it won’t last forever.

Godspeed, my friend.

I don't know where you live, but please check to see if there are any facilities for older people on fixed incomes that are run by various religious groups. I know that there facilities such as Episcopal Place in Alabama, and there's another one there that is run by the Presbyterian Church. The Catholic Church also has facilities for people on reduced incomes. There is usually a waiting list but most don't require that you go to that church.
Episcopal Place, for instance, charges a flat rate of 1/3 of your income, no matter what it is. These are small, one BR apartments with a living room, kitchen, and bath but no nursing facilities.
Definitely look into cremation because it is much, much less expensive than burial. Does your mother have any life insurance that could pay some of the expenses? Your mother's Social Security benefits will pay a couple of hundred dollars, which is not enough but it helps.
Those five rooms of furniture are actually an asset. Start going through things to see what you can sell fast to get funds. Try sites such as Facebook Marketplace for a quick sale. Put whatever is left into a storage room and stay with a friend or relative until you figure out the best course of action.
Good luck to you. I know it seems overwhelming right now, but it won't last forever. You can do this. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Sounds like she may have been elgible for medicade...you can apply.
The facility will call the coroner to verify death. The facility or the coroner will respond to instructions when she is diseased.
If she was on hospice the psychologist can help you with your concerns.
You need "decisions help".

Hi Artist9

Rather than paying to bury her, you can opt for direct cremation.

The minimum cost is $550. Make sure you verify the price in writing as different facilities in various states charge different prices.

This EXCLUDES embalming, a viewing, a ceremony and a coffin. If you include those things the cost of cremation can be much higher.

The facility will take care of all the essential paperwork such as permits and death certificates.

Request a Social Worker either through Hospice or your local hospital and let them tell you all information they have about resources in your area. Also look and see if you have an area agency on aging..they often have many resources. Sign your name to the list for senior housing asap, when the situation is one like yours where you may have nowhere to live they sometimes push your name up on the list to top priority. Even if you don't have a church, did your mother attend one when she was healthy? Contact them and ask to meet with the Pastor and talk about your situation. Check with local Senior Citizen groups and see if someone would like to rent a room from you. You could also rent out a basement if you have 1 for a small office. Try to brainstorm possibilities. Do you have a talent you could start a class teaching lessons? Maybe an art class, a writing class, a caregivers class? Something you have exp. in. Don't lose faith! Praying something good opens up for you.

Contact the funeral home ahead of time and work out a payment plan unless you choose one of the less expensive options given above. They all seem reasonable to me.

Even though my husband and I have money for funerals/cremation, he plans to donate his body to the medical school where he has taught for 40 years. Our son will be responsible for burying ashes in a family plot.

Sell a lot of the furniture you have--most single individuals don't need 5 rooms of furniture. My 90-year-old uncle sold his 4 BR home and moved into a 1 BR apt. Hardly took anything with him except a bed, chair, tv, lamps. Purchased a bar stool to sit at the kitchen bar to eat.

I am so sorry you are dealing with these issues. If possible I would try to sell some of the "5 rooms of furniture" or other salable items on sites like craigslist to try and make some $$. I know you may be preoccupied with your mom's situation, but maybe in the back of your mind you could at least be thinking of what you could sell. You certainly don't want to deal with having to pay for a storage unit if you move to your son's or other relative. Assuming that your mom will not be leaving you any hard assets.

Otherwise, for now I would just focus on your mom. You know you can stay at your son's, at least temporarily while you work to get back on your feet and figure things out. Selling what you can now or later will give you some cash and eliminate the hassle of moving/storing furniture.

Best wishes to you.

Friends of mine had turned over their mother's body for science. When they were finished with their learning, which was not long, the facility creamated their loved ones body, without requesting payment from the family left behind. I don't know if the family had to buy the the urn or not, but that eliminated considerable costs.
You don't mention how old you are, but Medicaid could be a viable answer to your predicament.
Good luck and be safe.

Imho, please see what means that your mother has, e.g. life insurance policies and other things. Possibly cremation may be your cheapest option. Prayers sent.

do a whole body donation. everything is free and you've done some good.