My mother always had "functional" paranoia (others stealing from her) with horrible narcissism. She is 87 now - still stubborn, strong as an ox, about 90 pounds, and mean. She wishes my children to suffer so I "get what I deserve" and at that point I tried to walk away. BUT, she needs help.

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Thank you everyone. You gave me much needed relief! I use to include her in everything with my family until it began degrading our quality of life. At this time, I try to meet her at restaurants near her home to get her to eat. Unfortunately, she recently signed a contract spending a few thousand dollars with a security company that we were not able to change. I do fear getting a call one day from police or her falling in her home. It is awful! I have such guilt but then when I try to be with her I get physically sick from the chaos. I am finding I cannot reason with her or make it better. I am going to try to call aging and ask for what services are available and about the baker Act. Thank you everyone! It makes me cry but I know I have to come to terms with it. It also pisses me off! My Dad died when I was 9 at the age of 51 (heart attack) and I had a crazy life with her. Then I lost my sister at the age of 51 as well. She was diagnosed a paranoid schizophrenic and a heroin addict. I feel both were pushed to an early grave with the help from my mother. I got custody of my nephew when I was 21. He has a good life now but it is sad. Thank God for my wonderful husband who is my angel and my beautiful kids! Sometimes life just isn't fair.
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Reply to vernzog

If Mom is a danger to herself or others there is something called the Baker Act. She will be put on 72 hour evaluation, if I am right. From there it will be determined if she needs to be somewhere.
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Reply to JoAnn29

My mother was paranoid all her life as well. In her later years, a man at her apartment was stalking her and stealing from her.

From what you wrote, you will not be able to help your mom out, doing anything of any kind. You are just leaving yourself open for upset, anger, heartache and frustration. Sometimes, Vernzog, we have to just throw in the towel and let whatever is going to happen, happen. Your mother sounds like a guard dog chained to the bumper of a car in a junk yard.

People who post on this site often recommend that you’ll have to wait until something happens to your mom before you can get her help. A fall, an illness or some other incident. It’s not pleasant to think of or plan for, but in this case, any attempts you make to help Mom will be pointless. You can’t reason with people like her so don’t even try.
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Reply to Ahmijoy

if your mom has alzheimers and she wont accept your help. I don't know if you can do anything. not until theres an accident - or some health issue.

what kind of help are you trying to offer? meals? bill paying? chores?

someone else will probably have some better advise.

maybe call your aging and adult services
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Reply to wally003