Follow
Share

This year in December my mom was put in a bad facility of a nursing home, which I tonics her after 2 months. Now she is in a very good one. From December till now in June, things have changed she is bed ridden and her focus is somewhere else. She wears pampers and everything happened so fast. She doesn't hold conversation well and doesn't understand anymore. I don't know what to do, I miss her so much.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
I'd take a look at the drugs and dosage she is being given.
Even in a "good" nursing home care to be closely monitored.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

to dceee. they will come into your home a couple times a week and take care of her and make sure she is comfortable and help you get some respite and understanding of the disease.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

to dceeee : I would say contact your local hospice or office of aging and they should be able to offer some assistance. good luck
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

You described my mom to a Tee...but she isn't in a nursing home, she is here with me. So how do I find out more about hospice?...and what exactly do they do?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Sounds like stage 7. Be there for her and hug her and talk to her and hold her hand. The stages move quicker from 5-7 and it can happen very quickly like you said. Be the best daughter you can and she is in there somewhere. Say everything that you want her to know so there are no regrets when she leaves this earth. God bless you and your mom through this most difficult journey. I lost my mom last October but I know in my heart her suffering is now over and she is at peace.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

yes if you google dementia you will find sights that say "5 stages" or "7" or even 10 stages. so who know really how many stages. but I am sorry and understand. my father is not in memory care yet but I think it will be coming. mom can't handle much more and I cannot do it myself. love to us all
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This may help: http://www.alz.org/alzheimers_disease_stages_of_alzheimers.asp
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This sounds like late-stage dementia, and look at it this way: as her mind fails, the fact that she's generally unaware of just how unaware she is....is rather a blessing for her. The dementia is a buffer zone between what's reality, and what she perceives. I am a devout Catholic, and the Church's teaching is that everyone -- once departed from this life on earth -- is eternally young and perfected (those that are in Heaven). I look forward to seeing my own parents that way one day, after the horrendously difficult years watching them fail and get very sick and unaware. All I could do was keep them company, extend love and kindness, and visit them each day. That's all we are called to do when they're failing.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

I went through this with my mother, and now with another elderly relative, and I know how painful and difficult it is, so I'm just sending this message of support and understanding. Being at her side whenever you can, patting her hand, having as much conversation as you can with her, is still something. I wish you both the best.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Hi cubalady - I don't have any info, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. She can still hear you, so you can and should say everything you want to. She knows you're there, and that's so important. I hope you use this site to its fullest, read articles and threads, and post more. Hopefully you can find a local support group as well, people on this site are always recommending the state agency for aging so it sounds like a good place to start. bless you.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

cubalady62, my heart goes out to you. Those of us with loved ones who have dementia lose them little by little, long before they die. Of course you miss her so much. Believe that your mother is still in that failing body. She may not be able to hold conversations, but it is likely she still understands a soft and soothing voice, a gentle touch, a kind presence. Be there for her. You did what you could by finding her a better care center. Continue to watch that she gets good care.

There are different kinds of dementia and the each progress in different ways. It sound like your mother is in one of the last stages, but how long it will last is very hard to predict. Have you discussed this with the experienced staff of her nursing home? What is their opinion of her "stage"? If Hospice is available to Mom and the nursing home thinks it is time for that, I think it could be a very helpful step for both you and your mother.

Hugs to you. This is so hard!
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.