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I am 74 and been. diagnoised with congestive heart failure. I was falling alot and had a seizure. My Dr told me I should not live alone. My daughter and her boyfriend was needing a place to stay. So we talked and decided she can be my caregiver. We actually didnt make a verbal agreement as to what's espected of her and him. I am paying the rent and electric and internet. Last month she gave me 70.00 on the electric bill that has doubled. I have a washer and dryer they can use. I expected her to at least keep the one bedroom apt clean. He does some if the house work like vacuming and dishes. She does nothing but sits on the couch on her phone all day long. My apt is not clean like I used to keep it. When I complain both of them say my apt was dirty when they came here. Another excuse is no caregiver will wait in you 24/7. My question is how much should they do for free rent. When I remind her I pay the rent she tells me "you have to pay the rent anyway. What should I expect from both of them. She has foodstamps and does buy groceries but both of them eat a lot so I really don't count the groceries.. What should I expect.? I feel I'm being taken advantage of. Thank you.
This isn’t working and needs changing. Tell your daughter and the boyfriend they will need to find another place to live. You will need to find other help, either by you hiring a helper or moving to where help is available. I’m sorry your daughter has proven to be of no help, it’s unfortunate, but don’t spend any more time trying to make her different or this arrangement to work. Call your local Area Agency on Aging and inquire what places or help you might be eligible for. Sounds like time for you to move to a place safer for you. I wish you well finding a better location
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Does it give you peace of mind realizing that if you have a seizure and collapse, or just randomly fall down, or your heart problems suddenly escalate - you have a family member you love in your home who will make sure you get help?

Do you enjoy her and her boyfriend's company? I know that you are all crowded, and that might be very irritating. Or it might not be.

Your daughter is correct, you are going to pay the rent anyway. Your trade off is peace of mind if you need help and you become badly injured or unconscious. What Caregiving are you expecting her to do, when you asked her to move in because your Doctor said you shouldn't live alone?
Figure out what exactly you need done and ask her to help you with that.

You said she does the grocery shopping, does she cook? Is she enjoyable to be around? Do you feel safer?

Just food for thought.

There's more to life than money.
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Reply to QuiltedBear
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Expect nothing. She's not the helping kind. What kind of caregiving has she actually provided for you?

Focus on getting them out of your home. This isn't going to get better, only worse. Once they are out, you can move on to a living situation that benefits you. That seems like a huge job to accomplish on your own, but you have no choice. This one is eventually going to affect your health, and you need to take care of yourself. These people are grifters. They are not trained caregivers, which is what you need now. I'm so sorry this hasn't worked out for you, but you CAN fix it. I'm sure you'll get some really good advice on this site, but it's up to you to take it. Good luck!
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Reply to Fawnby
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in the search icon above (magnifying glass) enter:
caregiver contract.

1. Put it in writing. It does not appear that they are doing any caregiving. Except what they would be doing anyway to keep their own place clean.

2. If you are providing "free rent", it should not cost you more for them to stay there. Change up the picture: List all the expenses and divide them, either by 1/2 or 1/3rd. Charge them that on paper. Then calculate what value of care they did give, to you personally. Such as: Sheets changed.

3. It sounds crowded there, the stress of working this out could make your condition worse. Recall that the doctor said you shouldn't live alone. He may not have meant that you require a "caregiver".
4. You do not have to blame anyone in order to change things, or have them move out. I do not think you can force your daughter to work at all, so change things.
5. This arrangement will continue to cost you, imo.
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Reply to Sendhelp
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