My father is in his 90s and has recently become almost fully blind. He still lives alone, and we have been discussing care options for him for a while. The last thing he wants is to have to move to a facility such as assisted living. I originally thought this was his best option, but now I’m concerned that some of the places I toured said that we may have to hire an additional caregiver to walk him to the cafeteria (they claim they won’t bring the food to the residents), and he won’t be able (or willing) to partake in most of the amenities or social offerings. We have tried to make upgrades to his home life by using new tech with auditory options since his hearing is good, but he is terrified of technology and largely unwilling to try to learn anything new. I have considered hiring a caregiver at his house, but his needs are confusing. He needs help with some ADLs such as bathing and preparing food (evening eating the food is becoming challenging since he can’t see what’s on his plate). I don’t think he necessarily needs 24/7 care but maybe just someone to come at meal times. I am there a lot during the day on weekdays and randomly on weekends, so it seems monetarily wasteful to hire someone to be there for the times that I’m already there. Maybe I need someone just for a couple of hours at a time twice a day? I would likely have to hire more than one person since the lady I’ve talked to only works weekdays. I considered moving him in with me, but he would basically be confined to one room since I have small children who create many tripping hazards, not to mention the concern about them spreading a lot of germs to him. I’m his only family left, so the pressure to make these decisions on my own is really weighing on me. At this point, I’ve even been daydreaming about selling his house and mine in order to buy a bigger house for all of us to meet all of our needs and wants, but currently nothing on the market is matching that dream…and the morbid reality is that he could pass away or get worse and need skilled care before a new home could be built. To add to all of this, I’m in my 30s and don’t have any friends who can offer wisdom, but it sure does seem that everyone has a lot of opinions without knowing all of the facts. I appreciate any advice and insight, but admittedly I get so overwhelmed with all of the options 😞
Also, I find it hard to believe the AL cannot bring his meals to his room. Food on a tray is needed from time to time for numerous reasons, there will probably just be an extra fee for the service. My mom even had this option in Independent Living, for an extra, but it was worth it when she was sick.
Contact the local Senior Service Center and see if there are any programs that may help.
If dad is a Veteran the VA may have some help available as well (particularly if the loss of vision can in any way be traced back to his service) Contact his local Veterans Assistance Commission, the VA or your States Department of Veterans Affairs.