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The last time I took them in for cleaning I was told part of the big diamond (which we knew had a flaw) had broken off and was gone, so it's not likely there is a huge $$ amount attached to the rings, although I haven't had them appraised yet. They're pretty, with the engagement ring and diamond studded wedding band soldered together, but not really the style younger people like and besides, she had more than one grandchild so I wouldn't know who to give them to. What would you do?

A quick verbal appraisal puts them at around $2000 Canadian dollars, I've had work done at this jeweller and trust that a formal appraisal isn't going to reveal anything significantly different. Given that the GKids have all been mentioned in her will I don't imagine a few hundred $ is going to mean much to any of them, and since she couldn't really wear them for the last decade they likely don't have any sentimental value for any of them either. The low value also makes having the gems reset hardly worth the effort (especially since the one larger stone is chipped to the point that removing it from it's setting could damage it further and render it essentially worthless).
But thanks for all the suggestions though
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If keeping them in the family is less of a consideration than a fair distribution I would recommend getting them appraised and then consider selling them and giving each grandchild a gift of equal value.
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You could contact a custom jeweler and have the metal melted and make a piece of jewelry that you'll love to wear--another ring, pendant, brooch, etc., with the stones set into the piece.
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Yessssssss!!!!!!
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Found! found!! Stuck in a drawer with my costume jewellery that I haven't looked at since nephew's wedding 3 years ago. Hallelujah 😅
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MountainMoose Feb 13, 2019
Whew! What a relief!
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My SIL said she would like one of Moms rings so I gave her the wedding ring. My daughter got the anniversary ring. Neither would have fit me, I have smaller fingers than my Mom. I also have the rings my DH gave me. I am not a jewelry person.
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MargaretMcKen Feb 14, 2019
You can easily get rings re-sized to fit your finger if it is smaller.
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CW's predicament is exactly the right example here. These things do us no good tucked away. The rocks can be made into a pendant, earrings, or a pin, but really should be used if we are going to keep them. If they are not making you happy by smiling at you often, how about selling them to an estate jeweler and buying something that does make you happy?

CW, the memory that you told us is what makes you happy, not those rocks. Don't stress about the thing- I'm sure it will show up, and if it doesn't, you still have the memory. This is a good reminder for everyone to get their valuables appraised, insured, and locked up before something happens to them. I have a piece I was considering wearing to a party but I'm going to get it appraised & insured first- this week!
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Riverdale Feb 11, 2019
My husband checked all the safe places. For years we had to hear how either the cleaning woman's sister or workers who were here during a renovation stole it. I asked him why would they steal a modest ring but leave the gold watch with it. Flash forward years later my son found it in his box with some cufflinks. No idea how it got there. Now if I could only find my last pair of prescription glasses.
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CW,

Did you decide to put the rings in a more safe place after the last time you took them in for cleaning? A really, really safe place you have now forgotten. I ask because I do that all the time.

I would consider hanging on to any jewelry for a while longer.

The suggestion to have the pieces remade into something completely different is a good one. I’ve had that done.

A friend had smaller diamonds set into stud earrings for herself and her daughter.

I agree, have a couple different jewelers, the guys in the back that work on and make the jewelry, give their opinion on the big stone.
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cwillie Feb 11, 2019
Anything's possible and I'd never accuse anyone because I just can't be sure. The thing is I've already checked all the other safe places - I just have no idea where else they could be :(
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Be careful and not quick to make a decision. Also, get a second opinion on the value of the diamonds, They are NOT likely to chip--as diamonds are among the strongest jewels known to man.

My mother had inherited her mother's diamond and she also had hers from her wedding band set, After dad died, she took it off.

So the combined "value" of the 2 diamonds was well over $10K. Along comes my niece whose fiance somehow wrangles these diamonds out of mother's ownership and has them reset into one ring. Uh, WTH? She's not even the oldest granddaughter or ggranddaughter. This guy was just a real slick talker and next thing you know, my niece is sporting QUITE the engagement set.

And mother feels stupid. She GAVE away these 2 stones in exchange for my niece naming her first daughter after her.

I found the whole thing shady and underhanded. They should have become part of the trust and listed as "assests".

But in the end, it is what it is. Not worth any fuss.

I have a lot of jewelry because my husband simply doesn't have a clue what I like/wear. I am going to gift all my granddaughters a ring or necklace that Papa gave me over the years and I NEVER wear any of them.

Honestly, if I were getting married today, I would want a band of diamonds and that's it. I have an anniversary band with 7 diamonds in it, representing all 7 of the "original recipe" nuclear family, I have not worn my $8K diamond engagement ring for years and years. My daughter's nearly $20K 1-1/2 carat ROCK? It sits in a safe deposit box. She's terrified she'll get robbed or lose it.

What's the POINT?? All my girls now wear simply their wedding bands.
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cwillie Feb 11, 2019
My father never had much so I can't imagine he could afford to spend a lot of money on the rings, on the other hand I think he was a closet romantic so who knows?
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We were Lucky in that my Mom had 4 nice rings that my Dad had given her over the years, including her Wedding set. It turned out perfectly in that each one of us girls each wanted a different ring, so that was all sorted with no animosity amongst us.

The ring that I chose and received is a Dome style "gypsy ring, with 5 little diamond chips set into little stars. I had always Loved that ring, and had frequently begged my Mom to let me wear it when I was a kid, and she did let me!

My Mom was So generous and kind, that she wanted All of her kids and spouses and her Grands and even Nieces and Nephews to have something to remember her by, so while she was bedbound and on Hospice, she would send her Grandaughters out on shopping expeditions to pick up a little something for everyone. She bought pocket watches for all of the boys, gold rings for all of her Grandaughters, and necklaces or earrings for all her Nieces. She hand wrote little cards for each, it was really special, and I keep mine in my top drawer, and read it every once in a while.

My Mom was the one person that everyone young or old could go to for non-judgmental advice. Still 14 years later people tell me how wonderful my Mom was. She left a Beautiful legacy of fairness, kindness and thoughtfulness that will carry me through the rest of my life. She was the simply the Best!
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cwillie Feb 11, 2019
Your mom sounds a lot like my grandmother - everyone she met remembered her warmth and kindness.
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(Sorry for the big whine, sis is working today so I can't call her)
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Barb I've emptied her keepsake drawer, I've emptied my keepsake drawer, I've gone through the strongbox where I keep my passport - the only place I haven't looked is an old safe I brought along from the farm, but that's because I can't get into it, and I doubt I would have put anything in there because I knew nobody remembered how to get it open (I thought I had it disabled but it's locked now). It would have been so easy for a caregiver to have snatched them over the years, they were just sitting there. At least I think they were. The last time I remember seeing them was when I had them cleaned and the prongs tightened, so shortly after we moved here.
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Oh, CW, this sounds so like me!

Several weeks ago, I realized that 3 of my favorite pieces of jewelry were missing. So far, two have shown up (along with another I hadn't missed yet). I know the 3rd will reappear. I would sweat it. Just tidy, they will show up!!
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Oh god, now I'm seriously distressed, I went to get mom's rings out of the drawer and they aren't there. I've looked everywhere I might have put them, where could they be?
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freqflyer Feb 11, 2019
Been there. My Dad had given my Mom a really lovely ring. Well, it was just too nice to wear, so Mom put it into their safe deposit box. I never saw Mom ever wear it. Plus they never went anywhere fancy that would require Mom to get it from the safe deposit box.

When my Mom had passed, it was time for Dad to go through the safe deposit box for any items he might need later on. Thus Dad emptied the box. No ring. I didn't ask Dad, I should have. Who know where that ring went... [sigh].
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Alas I inherited my father's short stubby fingers, so the only rings I can get away with wearing need to be rather thin and unobtrusive. The rings have been sitting in mom's dresser drawer ever since they became too loose, so for about 10 years now - it seems a shame to just leave them there.
I suppose I should separate the two (but it would just feel weird to do that)
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Do you wear jewelry? You could have it redesigned into a brooch or bracelet, maybe a necklace and enjoy it yourself.

Leave it to whomever oohs and aahs over it. You know they will appreciate it.
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cwillie, the younger generation can have the diamonds placed into a new setting.

I remember decades ago when I inherited my Dad's Mom's engagement ring. I was the oldest of 12 grand-children so there was quite a bit a jealousy involved.

Went to a jeweler to have the diamond appraised and it turned out to be cut glass. When I told the family about the ring, all types of rumors went floating about, like I had switched stones, etc. Why in the world would I do that???

It wasn't until my Dad had passed a couple years ago,I found that Dad had written simple diaries when he was in grade school, there was an entry where Dad had written that his Mom lost the diamond from her ring. Ah, mystery solved.

As for my Mom's diamond and wedding ring, she was never without it, so I decided she should wear it forever. Also had Dad's wedding ring placed back on his finger after he also passed, figured if Dad showed up in Heaven without his wedding ring, Mom would not be a happy camper :)
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Assuming you wouldn't wear them as rings? - you could put a chain through them and wear them as a pendant. Delays the decision until you pop off, at least!

How many grandchildren would you need to distribute them among? No other jewellery to parcel up?

Do narrow your eyes a little bit before you take anyone's word for what the big diamond is worth now, especially if it's possible perhaps to get it recut or cleverly polished.

H'm... I don't know where my mother's wedding ring is... I have a feeling my SIL will have got her sticky mitts on it. Dang. Wish I hadn't thought about it. That and my grandmother's gold chain, which mother always wore and which I put on her before the undertakers took her away. Now I *really* wish I hadn't thought about it!

But the other rings we were lucky with: five rings, three granddaughters and two granddaughters-in-law. Gave me the pleasurable job of texting Son to ask "does M prefer diamonds or rubies?" - needed all the fun I could get at the time.

This is quite a nice problem to have! :) Are you not comfortable just hanging on to them?
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