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My father got paralysis attack last nov but now he is improving but his behaviour is getting worst on daily basis. He is highly egoistic person &he want his work to be done at any cost he just order anytime for anything & it should be done else he will start using abusive language start showing down & make you feel that he is right. He call his friends & order them to do some work n if they don' t do than first he start giving them miss calls as reminder but then also no reply than call them & start crying n even after that also someone say no than he start insulting them by shouting in front of others.His left is just paralyzed which now mostly active other than his hand but than also he just sit at one place and shout & if anyone come and ask him to walk he will abuse them he just eat to make you feel that you are doing something wrong with him.Another side of the story is which we got to know now that he like our maid servant(as my mother passed away last week)who work at our native place & when we checked his bank account he has spend 50k per month on that lady & when we checked all account transaction my father has transferred very high amount to him. Currently since last 4 months my father has not paid her so, can you believe there is no call no text. She is the culprit to damage my father but at last minute we reached our native place & we got full story. Now my father want to go back to her when he cannot walk on his own even cannot go to loo on his own & daily he abuse shout on us to send him back but how should we....please advise to make my father back to normal & make his realise that we are his real family.
Nowadays he beat us in case we go near him he don't want to take bath in case we force then we have to listen alot. He spread so much negativity that me my family is going in depression. I feel like crying every time please advise how to bring my life normal. We cannot leave my father alone at native place also we cannot leave else where.

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I could not say anything better that Gigi11. I totally agree with what she said.
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I don't know what your options are in India. But you state the situation very succinctly. He cannot stay alone, and he cannot stay with family.

Are there care centers where he could get the attention he needs, where you could visit him, but where you would not have to be responsible for all of his needs?
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I guess Mental Health IS the right choice if you have that option in your place of residence. We have NAMI...they would help if I had that issue.
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Puujaa, from all you have written I believe you when you say he is playing mind games. And he will continue to do so as long as you put up with it. If the doctors and psychiatrists say he is fine, then you need to step away from him and let him manage on his own. You are not his slave or his whipping post and you have a right to enjoy your own life. We all want to help our parents as they age but if all he can do is dish out abuse, you are justified to turn your back until he can learn his behavior is unacceptable. I know it is easier said than done, but if the doctors say he is fine then there is no reason you should have to endure such treatment.
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Do you have any knowledge about your father's past medical struggles? If he was ever diagnosed with bi-polar disorder? If not, he is maybe going through beginning stages of Lewy-Body disease (reversed Parkinson's), which alters behavior drastically. His stroke symptoms might hide it very well.
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If this is not new behaviour, then it sounds like your father suffers from mental illness. I have no idea what the understanding of personality disorders is like in your country...I do know that in some parts of the world children are expected to put up with this sort of behavior just because the parent is seen as the authority figure, crazy or not. Why do you feel you can't leave him alone, if he and his docs say he's fine? If he gets himself into trouble by insulting others etc what will the consequences be?
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Thanks for replying & yes, you are correct I am not from US.....I am from India. My father got left side paralysis means he is having stroke in his right side of brain
 "Right Hemisphere Left-sided Hemiparesis : Left-sided hemiparesis results from injury to the right side of the brain, which controls the process of how we learn, nonverbal communication and certain types of behavior. Stroke survivors with damage to the right side of the brain may also have trouble with memory and attention span, and may talk excessively."
For my father we have have appointed best neurologist who has his own team which has physiotherapist/ physician/dietician. So, doctor has appointed 2 physiotherapist who come daily for his exercise due to which in 4 month of time he is able to sit on his own & able to walk but with support. There are few medicines given to control his anxiety but those are impacting the flexibility of damaged muscles so they were stopped soon. Just to understand his behaviour we took him to  psychiatrist who studied him in very detailed & concluded that he is absolutely fine just mentioned that he need s** & asked to change few medicine which we changed after consulting his neurologist.Than  we took him to counselling centre but there he started misbehaving he said I know everything & don't want to learn from anyone same old ego& we were send back. We consulted another neurologist also just to cross check & get another opinion but from there also we got same reply. Sir/Mam that what I am trying to tell that he is improving a lot but only physically & for mentally,  doctor has done the MRI thrice &they have mentioned only one thing that he is perfectly fine. He is just playing games with us for his own enjoyment & which he use to play since our childhood. He was in transferable job every time he never stayed with us for long span just one week or max 15 days. In my collage days, I have seen big fights at home & after our marriage we just go n meet him for 1 week or else he comes down to our place for1 week only not more than that.We are not aware of his nature  completely but now when he is dependent we are seeing his true nature that he cannot live in family because he cannot respect them.
Currently our situation is we cannot leave him as he is alone & we cannot keep him as he is not ready to accept us as family.
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I completely agree with Gigi11, very good advice, Puujaa. The maid or whatever she is, needs to be held accountable for elder abuse. That is illegal in the U.S.
As for Dad's behavior, I know from 20+ years in the medical field that when people have things like this happen to them that cause a once independent person to rely on others, it can cause a lot of emotional issues for them. They experience a sudden and significant loss of control over their lives. I wonder if some of Dad's behavior comes from feeling this loss of control over his life so now he's trying to exert control whenever and wherever he can.
When I work with patients, I try to give them a sense of control at every opportunity by letting them make choices whenever possible. Whether it's what to eat, what to wear, when to brush their teeth, when to take a shower, etc. Let him make choices.
I do think you need to get him to a doctor though, one who will look into his behavior problems deeply enough to find an answer.
Best of luck to you.
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Puujaa -- You need a different doctor who will address your actual needs. Your concern is more about your father's MENTAL condition than how he is doing physically. His behavioral problems are the issue. He is a danger to himself and others and therefore help must be found.

Has a brain scan been done? Have lab tests been run to see if there is a chemical imbalance in his body? He needs to be evaluated so that medications can be prescribed to help him calm down.

Meanwhile, you should consult an attorney and find out what rights the family has in this situation. Also it would be good to learn if the maid can be prosecuted for fraud and/or elder abuse.

Perhaps your father will continue to recover from the paralysis attack. But at the moment he seems to be incompetent to handle his own affairs. Please keep trying until you find help and get results.

Blessings to you, your father and all concerned in this challenging situation. I hope this will be resolved soon with all parties benefiting.
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Is "native place" his home? Considering his stroke paralysis can you work with physicians to get him into a rehab facility. There, he would get daily care, as well as assessments, and therapy to possibly help him improve. No doubt he is unhappy about his physical condition, and that could account for some of his outbursts. As suggested by ba8alou, there could be brain damage or dementia, which a specialist could determine. If he is on medications, they too can cause extreme reactions for some people, particularly the elderly. Hopefully, you'll find here some ideas that may be of help to you. Hang in there ; take a slow, deep breath. You sound overwhelmed.
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It sounds to me like you're not in the US. You need to get your dad to a psychiatris or neurologist. It sounds like what is wrong with your dad is in his brain and/or mind and may be dismissed by other doctors. Are you able to find a doctor like that? Has your father had a stroke? You mention paralysis, a stroke could also have caused vascular dementia. Why can't you send him to the native place? Would the servent look after him there?
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Tell your dad you will not play his guilt game.
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Thanks for replying but we have already taken him 4-5 times to hospital & now doctor told he is fine physically just he is playing mind games for which they cannot keep him.
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Call his doctor and get him to a hospital.
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